Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Russian Women's Biggest Days of The Year

What are the biggest days of the year for a Russian girl?

If you guessed "her birthday" and "Christmas day", you'd be part right, but mostly wrong.

Of course her birthday (and everyone else's for that matter) is a great cause for celebration, but there are other days that are also very big on the calendar!

Firstly, as I've mentioned before, "Women's Day" (March 8), is a major event!

See:

Your Russian Girlfriend and Women's Day

The Beauty of Women's Day


Christmas Day is celebrated, although on January 7th, not on December 25th as you may be accustomed to.

But it is eclipsed by another near-by event...

New Years Eve!!

There's no way to describe it as anything less than HUGE!

One thing you will notice is for "New-Years" celebrations to contain what you might see as "Christmas" traditions, including a "New Years Tree", which looks exactly like what most of you would call a "Christmas Tree" - a fur tree with colorful decorations.

How did this come about?

For Russia and the FSU republics, it comes down to the effect of the Soviet times, when religion was virtually banished, and "Christmas" traditions basically transferred to New-Years celebrations. It became entrenched, and it remains to this day.

Of course "NYE" is a big celebration around most parts of the world, but for Russian people, it is particularly special.

It's a time for seeing and congratulating (or "giving congratulations") to all your family, friends, work colleagues, neighbors, and acquaintances.

It's a time for feasting, (and for the men - drinking!), and a very special time for families to get together.

It's also a time to get hold of some fireworks and "go nuts"!

NYE can go quite crazy (and resemble a war-zone!) when the fireworks really start going - and for several hours!

So remember the BIG days, celebrate, and "give congratulations"...

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Back from the USSR

Apologies for the lack of new content in recent times, but I return a very relaxed and happy man!

Why?

I just spent the whole month in the depths of the FSU (former Soviet Union).

And am I refreshed?

You bet... 100% !!

It's now Springtime - snow melting off the mountains, trees regaining their leaves, the smell of flowers in the air where-ever you walk...

And the coats and jackets are being cast-aside - people enjoying being outdoors, and paying more attention to what they wear - adjusting the wardrobe for Spring and Summer!

Parks and tree-lined avenues are buzzing with people, often with no agenda at all, just wanting to be outdoors with other people. To be part of life.

And beautiful girls notice the non-local, and I have their undivided attention, even with my wife on my arm.

She just looks straight ahead, always the dignified lady, the most subtle contented smile.

Later she will laugh with her female relatives and old aquaintances about things that happen - why I get so much better service in many shops, whereas most people never even get a smile...

And I think, hang-on, it's only "me"... just an everyday nobody / Mr Average in my own country.

But this is a whole different world...

And I like it!

Friday, March 9, 2007

The Beauty of Women's Day

I've heard some great success stories of guys impressing their ladies on Women's Day just passed.

Unfortunately in this country, it is almost unknown, and is certainly not a public holiday.

Whilst going about business as usual on Thursday (March 8 - Women's Day), I asked different people, both male and female, if they knew anything about it, or were doing anything special.

Let's just say the response was disappointing to say the least.

The women were generally just ignorant of it.

But the reaction of men was much more of a shock.

The general response was something like: "What for? Why do we have to have a day for everything, and why isn't there a day for us?" (etc)

I honestly found that quite surprising, until I thought about it more.

On the surface, the women appear apathetic, and the men seem resentful of the idea (of a day for women). But there must, of course, be reasons for this.

I think one major reason is a perception in the West that International Women's Day is all about the feminist movement, and is therefore a day of male/female politics and conflict, rather than any reason for celebration.

Of course what is interesting is that in Russia (and many other countries) where Women's Day is a huge holiday and celebration, it is no such thing. Feminist movements and politics simply do not factor into it.

Women's day is such an overwhelming success there because it is a day of respect, thanks, appreciation, admiration, love, friendship, and a celebration of femininity - NOT feminism. It's about real women, and men's acknowledgment of these proud females in their life.

By contrast, we in the West place emphasis on other days, for example "Mother's Day" - a nice concept, but it has been totally hijacked by the retail industry who pressure us into buying ever more, "bigger and better" gifts, to "show we care". The beauty, and the whole point, is somewhat lost.

Now contrast that back to Russia (and many other countries), where, along with flowers and chocolate giving, gifts are more often personally made rather than simply bought. It is much more about thoughts and actions, rather than materialism.

If you missed the significance of this beautiful day (not hard when you live in the West), it's not too late to show someone in one of those (perhaps, "more enlightened") countries that you care. Let her know you have found out the significance of the day (which is not celebrated in your own country), and "give congratulations" to her. She will understand and appreciate this. Ask her how she celebrated the day.

And never miss it again...!

Friday, March 2, 2007

Your Russian Girlfriend and Women's Day

The most important day of the year is almost upon us!

March 8 - International Women's Day.

Many people around the world may be unaware of this day, but in Russian culture it is a huge event.

Bigger than Valentines Day or even Christmas Day.

Despite the political origins of Women's Day, for Russian women it holds no political significance, only beauty and celebration.

Not only it is a celebration of women and femininity, but it also celebrates the start of Spring.

And what connects the two?

Flowers, of course!

Women's day is a day where all men should give flowers and gifts to the women in their life. Not just wives or girlfriends, but also family members, even work colleagues.

Men should also not allow their women to do any work of any kind. For Russian women, this is a rare day! No going to work (it's a public holiday anyway), no housework, no cooking. It's all to be done by men.

This is not another Valentines Day, which is more a private celebration for couples. This is a day for ALL women. A day of thanks, appreciation, respect and admiration.

Women's Day is an official public holiday in Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, Bulgaria, Moldova, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Tajikistan and Uzbekistan (along with a few other countries).

It is also well-celebrated in Hungary, Poland and Romania (although it is not a public holiday).

Impress any Russian women in your life with a card, gift, or flowers.

If you are just starting to get-to-know a Russian lady by correspondence, at least send an electronic card. If you know her a little better, organize a flower delivery. It's easy to do. Include a box of chocolates for that little something extra.

For more information on flower-giving to Russian women (VERY important):
Russian Women - Flowers 101

To miss this opportunity is unforgivable!
So get to it!

Monday, February 26, 2007

Russian Women - Flowers 101

Most women have an affection for flowers, but...

Russian women LOVE flowers!

Flowers can send a big message - transcending language barriers, speaking the international languages of love, caring, and careful consideration.

Whether you're only at the correspondence stage, or perhaps at the meeting stage, dating, popping the question, or celebrating a special occasion...

Give the gift of flowers - they will be very well-received!

But make sure you do it right!

There are things you should know...

If you're getting to know your girl by long-distance correspondence and things are progressing well, organize a surprise flower delivery. She'll be most impressed.
Tip: don't do it in the very first week - it could back-fire on you (could be seen as "buying" her interest).

When you meet your girl for the first time (in person, after your long-distance relations have been successful - i.e. you have a relationship of sorts), give her a red rose as soon as you meet (doesn't have to be the very first minute you see her in the airport terminal, but perhaps in the taxi).
Tip: BRING the red rose from home. Yes, you read correctly - from YOUR home. Not the flower shop at the airport where you land, but from your own country. Don't worry if it looks half-dead by the time you hand it to her - you just brought it half way around the world! That's the point - not just a flower, but an extra special gift. I bet she presses it into a book and never discards it. (Also, even if it looks "travel weary", it will still have the fragrance).

If you're after a way to meet girls unannounced (when in Russia/FSU) - try giving a flower to a girl out of the blue. Simply say: "A pretty flower for a pretty girl" and see her reaction. Not only will she be astounded by the gesture, she'll notice you are a foreigner, which will also intrigue her. If nothing else, she'll take it as a compliment, and it will be an enjoyable moment for both of you.
Tips: before pulling such a move, check her right hand ring finger for a wedding ring (yes - right hand, which is the local custom). Refer to her as a "girl", not a woman. Have a card you can give her with your name, email, and local contact details on it. Ask her for her details. Don't worry if her English isn't too good.

When spending time with your girl - take any opportunity to give her a flower, or eleven! Often you will see flower stalls near shops or markets. She will be visibly proud as she walks down the street on the arm of her man, clutching flowers in the other hand, which that wonderful man has just bought her!
Tip: don't ask her if she'd like some flowers, INSIST upon stopping to have a look at the flowers, then tell her to nominate her favorites, and buy them! You could spot a flower seller and say "We NEED some flowers!", and lead her there! She'll love it!

Make sure you give her flowers for her birthday,
Valentines Day, and Women's Day.

Roses are the most adored and prized flowers to Russian women. As in the West, red roses are the symbol of love. White roses are a classy alternative if you think red might be a bit strong, or just for something different.

Long-stem roses are preferred, and (in Russia), being rare, represent the rarity and delightful innocence of love.

Tulips, carnations, and other well-known flowers are also popular. Lilies can be given, with their stunning appearance and unique fragrance, but remember that white lilies are often seen as "sympathy"/funeral flowers.

When sending flowers for the first time, if you think roses might be a bit strong (as a message), send a bouquet of mixed seasonal flowers chosen by the florist. You could also include a small box of chocolates with it - you know, just to be practical!

Send a bright, multicolor arrangement if she is unwell or in need of a cheer-up. Send white lilies or carnations as a sympathy arrangement.

ESSENTIAL flower-giving tips:

ODD numbers only - give flowers in odd numbers (i.e. 5, 7, 9, 11, etc).
In Russian / Slavic tradition, an even number of flowers is a bad omen - you bring an even number of flowers to a funeral (for example 2 or 4 flowers). If giving a large bouquet, the number count is not so critical, but if it contains roses, make sure there's an odd number of roses at least. Any odd number is good - the more the better. Give 11 instead of a dozen.

Yellow flowers (predominantly, or on their own) are not to be given to a loved one - they symbolize unfaithfulness. But if her favorite color is yellow, there may be some rule-bending there!

Don't forget her mother! Earn some serious "gentleman points" by giving a bouquet or a single rose to your girl's mother on the important holidays and special occasions. You'll be seen as having some serious class and style!

Most flower delivery services offer to take a photo of your girl receiving the flowers. Think about that for a second. Not only is it a great "real", and recent photo of your girl, and not only does it confirm the delivering of the service you've paid for, but it also confirms her very existence as well.
If, up until now, you've only be corresponding remotely, a flower and/or gift delivery service can confirm she is in-fact real, visiting her at her home address and photographing her. Whether you had any doubts or not, it's nice to have that snap-shot of reality, and see her with a smile as she holds the flowers you just gave her.

Flower delivery services are available in almost every city in Russia and the FSU countries. Do a good search as prices can vary quite considerably. Also note there can be significant seasonal variances in availability and price of different flowers too.

Now go court her like a gentleman !


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Thursday, February 22, 2007

A Day For Russian Men

23rd of February is the "Defender of Fatherland" day, which is an unofficial holiday for all Russian men (in Russia).

In Russia, all men must serve in the military, (it's compulsory). They are therefore part of the "National Defending Force" - present or future soldiers.

The day is only officially a holiday in Russia (formerly all U.S.S.R.), but it may still be of importance to Russian people in the now "FSU" countries, particularly if they are ethnic Russian. It is common for women to give small gifts to men they know, not just partners or family, but can also be the men at their place of work, or university.

As a point of "conversation", you can ask your Russian girlfriend about 23 February - "The Defender Day", and how/if she celebrated it - she will be impressed with your knowledge of the Russian calendar and such a historical date.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Do Russian Women Prefer Men With Degrees?

If you look at profiles of Russian women, they are most often holders of university degrees and will usually state they seek men who are also of higher education (i.e. college / university degree).

What if you don't have one? Does that harm your chances? Does it seriously narrow the field?

I would answer: No - there are much more important considerations.

Russian women considering husbands from abroad are more interested in basic human qualities more than higher education.

They want to know if you truly desire marriage and children.
They want to know if you are ready to love and be loved.
They want to know if you are a "good person", kind, honest, faithful and generous to those you are close to.
They place great importance on your attitude to alcohol - no heavy drinking.

If you can satisfy the above, (not too much to ask for!), then you are well on your way to success.

Other factors such as how rich, educated or good-looking you are, are of little importance to a genuine Russian bride-to-be.

Basic human qualities rate far above possessions or achievements.

Now, isn't that the way it should be?

Friday, February 16, 2007

Russian Brides - What's The Catch?

Some things in life seem too good to be true.

If you're using the internet to search for a partner, a healthy dose of scepticism is not a bad thing. It can even be critical when sorting the genuine from the non-genuine, the suitable from the non-suitable.

When you see profiles of women who seem to be "just too good to be true", then the next thought is usually, "OK, if they're genuine - what's the catch?"

To many men from Western nations, it is highly refreshing to see not only physical attractiveness exhibited by the "average" Russian lady, but also real feminine beauty in their thoughts, desires, interests, and expectations of relationships and family.

What's the catch?

There will, of course, be some cultural differences, usually some language difficulties to overcome, adjustment to a new life. But, not only are these easy to overcome, they can also be an enriching and positive aspect to your relationship. (I think this is so important and so overlooked by most people that it will be written-up as a seperate article in the future.)

Really, the only thing men should keep in mind that may possibly seen as a "catch" is:

Russian women want CHILDREN.

If you see a Russian lady as the ideal partner, but you do not want children, you are looking in the wrong place for your future wife.

Of course, having children is the ultimate achievement for all of us - male or female, but whereas many women in the West may increasingly see it as a "choice", to Russian women, it is an essential part of womanhood. It is an absolute given that a Russian woman should marry and have children. It is a cornerstone piece of their cultural make-up and upbringing.

Any man who wants to have children should take this as a "godsend", because not only does she want to have children, she will take it as a joy and a pleasure to nurture your children in the most loving and caring way - like you have never seen before.

To see a Russian woman with her baby is nothing short of beautiful. To see how she sees it as a blessing and a privilege to cater to that child's needs and healthy upbringing, (and not a chore, or a burden, or a "difficult responsibility") - is breath-taking!

OK, so what if she already HAS children?

That now becomes an individual question. If she has more than one child already, she will most likely be content to not have any more. Even if she has only one child, she may also be content to not have any more, as it is not unusual for Russians to have only one or two children.

What if YOU already have children?

She may be fully accepting of your existing children, but she will still want to have at least one child herself. Life would not otherwise be complete for her as a woman.

Is it better to have a child together regardless of how many existing children either of you have? In my opinion, yes, but of course it will depend upon both of your individual wants and desires. Your ages may also have a bearing on your decision. If you're both over 35, and already have children, then you are probably both past the "having children" stage, and are content to seek stable family life with your existing brood. Your (and her) choice.

So is there no other scenario?

There always exceptions to the "rules", but the vast majority of Russian women fall into this category. Children are an essential part of life. It is natural for them, and they will tell you just that! A dream to be fulfilled.

To any real man, this should not be daunting in any way, it should be a huge relief!

Not only can you find the ideal WIFE, but ideal MOTHER to your children. You've hit the jackpot! The best of both worlds - in more ways than one.

If that doesn't inspire you to pursue this particular road to happiness and fulfillment, then I seriously don't know what will.

You can give shallow women the flick. Real women are out there.


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Friday, February 9, 2007

Your Russian Girlfriend Is Not Dear

Words can have peculiar meanings from one culture to the next.

I have previously explained the subtle but important differences in meaning of the words "expensive" and "dear" between Russians and English speakers.

There are many examples of English words that can very easily confuse someone with limited English, AND, even if language is translated, you must remember that true (intended) meanings can be lost, and misunderstandings formed.

In written correspondence, English speakers will almost always commence their writing with the word "Dear" and then the name of person they are addressing the letter to. It is normal whether the letter is for personal or business reasons, or if the person is known to you or not.

It is simply a standard, customary way of writing. It generally has no further meaning.

When writing to Russian girls however, you should never start your writing in this way.
At least not until you have a solid relationship, and even then it may still not be what she wants to see.

There a couple of reasons why it is not appropriate to use the word "dear".

In Russian letter writing, the word "dear" would mean that you know someone very well and they mean a great deal to you. So to start your very first letter to a Russian in this way may come across as non-genuine or make her feel uncomfortable.

If relations by correspondence develop, it may be OK, but it's more safe to avoid using it. The other reason it may not be well-received, even if you do have a "relationship" is the more literal meaning of the word which (to us) means "expensive". If she sees it in that light, she may not take it as the compliment that you might feel it could be. She does not see herself as "dear", needing to be bought or spent money upon. This could be insulting as it would make her "greedy".

She does not like greedy men, and she would never want to be seen as greedy herself.

Read about "greedy" if you haven't already done so:
http://russianwomen4westernmen.blogspot.com/2007/02/russian-women-and-greedy-western-men.html

The solution is to simply use the word "hello". When translated it will be "Privyet" which means hi/hello. It is a regular, somewhat informal greeting. If you don't know any Russian words yet, there's your first one! (and how it's pronounced in English).

Example:
Hello Elena,
(start writing as you would any letter)...

What about signing off the letter?

Again, think conservative and do not write "Love, (your name)" when you do not have a full relationship with her, and by that I mean you have met her and are in love (and the feeling is mutual)!

End the letter by saying something like: "I hope to hear from you soon" or "I look forward to your next letter", and then simply write your name on the last line. If you want to be a little more formal, especially to someone you don't already know, you can sign-off with "Sincerely, (your name)". Simple!

More on letter/email writing etiquette, and "how not to stuff it up" / create misunderstandings, later...


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Monday, February 5, 2007

Russian Women and Greedy Western Men

A key difference you may encounter when meeting Russian women is how they look at money, concepts of "value", and the etiquette of it all.

In the West, we always observe prices and make judgements about "value for money". It is also not considered unusual to discuss such things in almost any situation. Although even in the West, you wouldn't want to make it too obvious that you only select things based on price, especially in a romantic situation, for the risk of appearing "cheap".

In Russia / FSU it is considered "bad manners" to talk of how "expensive" something is, or that it does not represent "value". At the start of a relationship, it can be the kiss of death.

First, let's look at how different terms are perceived.

To a Westerner, "expensive" or "dear" = "overpriced", and "not good value-for-money"

To a Russian, "expensive" means "I can not afford it / do not have the money for it"

Think about that for a second. There's a critical difference in word meaning alone. "Pricey" v. "unaffordable".

More importantly, common social etiquette for Russian people is to not even discuss such things, especially in a romantic situation.

If a Western man objects to something being "expensive" in any way, he is labelled "greedy". He is perceived as being "tight" and "money-counting" or "penny-pinching".

A lot of it is due to costs and means of living. You have grown-up in two totally different systems of living, and paying for your living expenses. In the West, you are accustomed to having to be totally responsible for all the costs of living, and having to budget accordingly.

Unfortunately for an unknowing Western male, it's difficult for you to be seen as just being "wise with your money" when you make $4000 per month, compared to $100-200 per month average monthly earnings it the FSU. How could you not afford something?

When you comment that something is expensive, and you have a wad of cash in your wallet, you are clearly greedy. If you don't want to buy something, then don't. But don't make a fuss over it, just move on.

People of the FSU do not understand that most people in the West barely see anything left of that $4000 after all the expenses of a month's living. But don't try too hard to explain the "relativeness" of earnings and expenditure between the two different countries - it won't wash. You're just trying to make excuses for your "greediness"!

A genuine Russian lady will not like to admit she is "in need" of anything or is unable to afford the things she needs in life. Whilst she will gracefully accept "romantic" gifts (flowers, chocolates, even jewelry) from someone that takes her interest, she will not be comfortable accepting more practical gifts or financial assistance under most circumstances.

Russian women like generous men. Now that doesn't mean you have to shower your girl with constant gifts and expenditure, it's more about generosity as an approach to your prospective partner, rather than generously spending money as such. It's about thoughtfulness, and courting like a gentleman. Excessive gift-giving or financial assistance may back-fire on you without you even realizing it. She does not want to feel greedy herself! She also does not want you to think she can be bought, or for her to feel she is "for sale".

If you are only at the stage of getting to know a girl by long-distance relations (emails/letters/phone), you can impress her by sending her flowers/gifts. You will appear "generous". When you do meet her in person, you MUST have gifts. It is essential. They don't have to be in any way expensive - it's the thoughtfulness behind them that's important. But whatever you do, don't even discuss costs or perceptions of "value".

When you discuss meeting for the first time, don't comment on the cost of the travel or how much of a good deal you've been able to source. The ONLY thing that matters is that you have made a commitment to visit her. If you start talking costs, it will seem your priorities are not quite where they should be!

If you say you can not afford to buy your tickets just yet, it sounds like an excuse for you not wanting to commit to making the journey to seeing her. You obviously do not WANT to visit her. You may think you're just being honest - and she may think you're being dishonest!

If you really are having a problem with affordability (for travel tickets and other expenses), it is better to push back the date and tell her you cannot travel until that time due to work commitments or leave entitlements (or whatever), rather than say anything about costs. Remember, she wants to know that you are coming, not the details of your monthly budget.

When it comes to money matters - just be tactful and discreet. It's that simple.

When you are courting a lady, money is just a system of payment, NOT a focus.

Focus on what's more important...


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Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Sex Tours and The Three Insults

This is probably a good follow-up to "Those Ukraine Girls..."

Unfortunately, many men from around the world get a little too excited for all the wrong reasons.

If you are going to Ukraine, Russia, or any other FSU country, what are you going there for?

Women? Sex?

Or, are you going there for the chance to meet "The One" ?

Some men are at least honest when they say they are going there "for the women" - read: "going for a good time".

Sadly, many are deluding themselves by going "for the women" under the illusion of "looking for The One" - if they can just happen to find her at the same time.

This excerpt is from the Kyiv Post (Kiev, Ukraine)
http://www.kyivpost.com/opinion/oped/22660/



The Coming Summer Sex Boom
May 04 2005, 20:23


Summer’s on its way to Kyiv, which means mini-skirts and stiletto heels for women and the sex tourism season for too many men. Hordes of Turkish, German, American, French, English, Italian, Swedish and other men will, as they have for years, descend on the country over the next few months in hopes of finding “the right girl” – for marriage, supposedly, but in many cases for a week or a night.

The combination of long-standing native social attitudes and the sex tourism industry is doing a number on the mentality of local women. How many times have I heard foreign men who have dated Ukrainian women complain that women here are unknowable? That they’re all greedy and out for money? That they can’t be trusted? Is it possible that these women have simply learned to respond to a world that too often expects little more of them than to smile all the way to the bedroom? If they seem inscrutable, and like they’re out to get something from the men they interact with, that’s likely because they know that guys have an agenda in regard to them, too.

Just the existence of short-term sex tours for men to Ukraine is bad news for women here – an insult to them. Would German men or French men enjoy foreigners coming to their country en masse looking for sex with their sisters, daughters, friends and co-workers? Probably not. They’d be insulted. And yet they, and others, subject Ukrainian women – and Ukraine – to insults that they would never want to put up with themselves.



If you're a gentleman going there for all the RIGHT reasons, then make sure you look in the RIGHT places.

As you can see from the above, if you look in all the wrong places, you're bound to find all the wrong things that you hoped you wouldn't.

If you want to be one of the idiots sweating it out on the dance floor with hundreds of fellow idiots who are there with the same insulting intentions, then don't complain about what you find in that environment.

Things go hand in hand. People with bad intentions tend to bump into other people with bad intentions. Why expect any different?

If you want to go on "sex tours", remember three things:


  1. You insult yourself
  2. You insult your country of origin
  3. You insult the country and it's people that you visit
You insult yourself by reducing yourself to a pathetic slave of your primal sex-drive which you have mis-read and redirected down the wrong path.

Real men are attracted to women. That's a fact, and long live that fact!

But men on "sex tours" are failed men who don't grasp the concept of successful relations with a woman, and the ultimate fulfillment it brings. If they realized they could find so much more by approaching a different environment AS a different environment, not just a honey-pot away from their inadequacies at home, they could find more than they ever thought possible.

You insult your country of origin for basically the same reasons. Pathetic men from a country of pathetic men? Ouch. That's a harsh image to throw back on your own country.

You insult the country you visit, it's people, it's culture, and especially the women. This is obvious and surely doesn't need further explaining. Refer back to the last paragraph of the article quoted above.

Then go back to #1 - You insult YOURSELF. Why would you do that?


Remember TRUE SUCCESS ?
Most Russian / FSU women understand what true success is.

Real men also understand what true success is.

Be a real man!

http://russianwomen4westernmen.blogspot.com/2007/01/russian-women-and-true-success.html


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Monday, January 29, 2007

Those Ukraine Girls...

This old song keeps coming to mind. Not quite sure why, but must be something to do with seeing too many gorgeous girls from Ukraine!

I'll feature them more in "Russian Women Outside Russia - Part 2" very shortly, but in the meantime, I'll leave you with the classic song, AND, for your visual pleasure, a lovely Ukranian girl for this week's "Russian Beauty of The Week". (scroll down the page...)


Back in the U.S.S.R. - The Beatles

(Lennon/McCartney)

Oh, flew in from Miami Beach B.O.A.C.
Didn't get to bed last night
On the way the paper bag was on my knee
Man I had a dreadful flight

I'm back in the U.S.S.R.
You don't know how lucky you are boy
Back in the U.S.S.R.
(Yeah)

Been away so long I hardly knew the place
Gee it's good to be back home
Leave it till tomorrow to unpack my case
Honey disconnect the phone

I'm back in the U.S.S.R.
You don't know how lucky you are boy
Back in the U.S.
Back in the U.S.
Back in the U.S.S.R.

Well the Ukraine girls really knock me out
They leave the West behind
And Moscow girls make me sing and shout
That Georgia's always on my mind

Aw come on!
Ho yeah!
Ho yeah!
Ho ho yeah!
Yeah yeah!
Yeah I'm back in the U.S.S.R.
You don't know how lucky you are boys
Back in the U.S.S.R.

Well the Ukraine girls really knock me out
They leave the West behind
And Moscow girls make me sing and shout
That Georgia's always on my mind

Oh, show me around your snow-peaked mountains way down south
Take me to your daddy's farm
Let me hear your balalaika's ringing out
Come and keep your comrade warm

I'm back in the U.S.S.R.
Hey you don't know how lucky you are boys
Back in the U.S.S.R.
Oh let me tell you,
honeyHey,
I'm back!
I'm back in the U.S.S.R.
Yes, I'm free!
Yeah, back in the U.S.S.R.
Ha ha

Friday, January 26, 2007

Russian Women and Stupid Men - Part 2

What's worse than the possibility of being labelled "stupid" by other people after getting scammed?

Knowing you've been scammed, and feeling / labelling YOURSELF as being stupid.

So, just "bury your head in the sand" and "hope for the best"?
I don't think so!

As the wise old saying goes - Prevention is better than cure.

If you haven't already read Part 1 to this, do so now...

http://russianwomen4westernmen.blogspot.com/2007/01/russian-women-and-stupid-men-part-1.html

Now, in this part, let's look at Basic Money Scam Scenarios and Red Flags to watch out for.

Most scams/fraud against men from Western countries by women from Russia or FSU countries, are not too sophisticated in nature, but for the unwary, they could at least waste your time and possibly impact upon your view of the women in general, let-alone take your money.

Picture these scenarios:

You contact a lady, or are contacted by one, and you start exchanging correspondence to get to know one another. After a few weeks everything seems to be going well despite the language and cultural differences, and then she asks if it would be possible for you to send a little money for her to continue to use the "Internet Club" to keep up the emails between you and her.

Is she a scammer?

You're in contact with a lady, and all is going well, then she says she wants to come and meet you in your country. She will organize things. No mention of money.

Is she a scammer?

Again, all is going well, she writes many emails but does not answer any specific questions you ask, or if she does, it is only as a short note at the end of the message.

Is she a scammer?

OK, straight to it -
1st scenario - maybe, maybe not.
2nd scenario - most likely.
3rd scenario - most likely.

In the first scenario, it's not a good sign if any woman is that forward in asking for money, as most genuine ladies would not, especially before you truly get to know each other. Having said that, it's true that many of them do have to use internet cafes to access email, as most people in FSU still do not have internet access at home. The cost is not huge, but compared to incomes, it can be relatively expensive. Still, to always protect yourself, remember "Rule 1" (don't send money).

In the second scenario, if she states her intention to come to you in order to meet, even if there is no mention of money (yet), start running (away)! She can NOT visit you. That's all there is to it. When you're serious about your Russian girlfriend, you'll have to go and meet her, in her country. You can bet your bottom dollar that even though she does not indicate any need for money, things will "happen", just before she is due to depart (and just as you're getting excited), and she will require you to send the dollars! And then some!

In the third scenario, it's a bad sign because it sounds like she could be sending you "form letters", the same ones that every other guy she's scamming is also receiving! If the girl is genuine, she wants to know about YOU, just like you want to know about her. She especially wants to know basic things to determine that you are a "good" man, and want to have family life and children. If the letters are all flattery, romance, and infatuation, but not really practical exchanges to get to know one-another, get ready to be disappointed!

Red Flags!

You need to be cautious when....

  • She contacts YOU first via a large, free for all, dating site
  • She has great photos but little information in her on-line profile
  • She writes of "structure" in her profile or initial contact
  • She sends you nude or very suggestive photos
  • She specifically mentions anything about being a virgin
  • Photos she sends have file names that contradict her story/name
  • Her profile location contradicts where she says she is located
  • Her childhood friend married a man from Germany or France (not an English speaking country)
  • Her English is very good - all sentences make sense (Russian-English translation usually results in "jumbled" English at best)
  • She writes poetry - in English (again, translation would ruin it)
  • She starts writing very affectionately within a short time
  • She declares her love or strong desire for you within a few months
  • She asks for money at any time, for any reason, before you have met
  • She writes of financial difficulty or crisis (an implied or actual money request is just around the corner!)
  • She questions you on your income, wealth, assets, in any way
  • She says she has no home phone but can call you from another phone
  • She says she can get herself a Visa to come and see you. (NOT possible)
  • She says she has family or friend in Visa office, airport, or travel agency
  • She changes/contradicts details about her family and life
  • She makes a mistake with your (or even her) name
  • She knows exactly how Western Union (etc) money transfers work
Many of these appear obvious, but they can often appear quite innocent when combined with a good story.

The issue of photos can be tricky. A photo added to each letter can be a bad sign - part of a "form letter" system. Only ever receiving one or two photos can also be a bad sign as they may have just been lifted from the web somewhere. Ask for more photos, and if she does not have them on computer (which could be most likely), ask her to send by real mail.

As stated above, check the file names of images wherever possible - look for different girls names, methodical numbering system, or file names that sound like statements (to fit the form letters, and different scenarios).

A genuine Russian husband seeker is not going to send you nude or very suggestive photos of herself. Nor is she going to mention her virginity. She is also very unlikely to show her deepest feelings toward you for quite some time, as they tend to be guarded about such things, especially before you have met in person.

Any genuine girl also knows she can NOT get a Visa to visit you in a Western country, whether it be a "tourist", "student" or "fiance" Visa, whenever she likes. YOU have to assist her to get the Visa, and remember Visas can ONLY be obtained through your country's embassy/consulate, not through any "agency".

If someone does not have their own phone, then chances are they can also not afford to make overseas phone calls to you! Yes, it IS possible she does not have a home phone, let-alone a cell/mobile phone, but she should still be able and willing to give you another number, usually of a family member close-by, who does have a phone. She should also be very willing to give you her home address, so you could send her (real/postal) mail.

Remember that some of the above scenarios could come up and she may still be a 100% genuine girl, so be careful not to dismiss someone instantly just because you see a "red flag". If anything looks suspicious - test her out on something, it's not hard. If more red flags appear, then it's time to make a decision and move on.

What if you're still not quite sure?
What can you do make sure your Russian beauty is real and everything adds up?

I will continue with that very theme in Part 3...


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Monday, January 22, 2007

Russian Women and TRUE SUCCESS

I had an interesting conversation with an elderly gentleman recently which amazed both me and him.

We were talking about money, property, wealth for retirement, etc, etc. Like a lot of older people, he says "I wish I knew back then (when I was younger), what I know now", in relation to financial matters.

He proudly told me about how "successful" his son was, who had well-above average wealth for his age (mid 30's), and how he was constantly disappointed by his daughter (in her late 30's), who had virtually no wealth at all.

Of course the word "wealth" was used in a purely economic sense.

I know both people (his children) reasonably well, and let me tell you their critical differences, and why I questioned his interpretation of success.

The son is a really nice guy, and yes, has achieved some impressive goals thus far in his life. He is also single, never married, no children, lives a fairly quiet life, and doesn't feel like he's really achieved much at all in life thus far.

The daughter, a bit older, was married and had children very young. The marriage did not last and she became a single-mother for most of the children's lives. She now has two, virtually adult children, who are both really great, surprisingly well-adjusted young people. Yes, she's hopeless with money, and like her brother, feels she hasn't really achieved anything in life thus far.

If neither of them seem particularly happy with what they've achieved thus far, then are either of them "successful"?

Their father certainly thought it was clear who was successful and who wasn't.

I asked him if he thought either sibling envied the other. He replied that he presumed his daughter envied her brother for being much more "successful" than her.

I said I wouldn't be surprised if there was more envy flowing the other way. In reality, I actually thought there might be equal measures of envy between the two, but I was just trying to push the point with him. The old man was surprised at my suggestion, laughing at first, but then, realizing I was quite serious, asked why I would think that.

Rather than answer him, I said "ask him" (your son). He looked worried at the thought, so I suggested he just casually ask his son "how's life?" or "how is everything going for you?", or similar.

When I next spoke to the old man, he had tracked me down especially to speak to me and was keen to tell me about the conversation he had with his son. They live quite a distance apart, so the conversation was on the phone. He said he casually raised the "how's life?" subject and was blown away by what ensued.

The result? They spoke for over two hours!

I was not only right, but even I was shocked at how right I was. The old man obviously thought I was amazing, as he told me all about how his son really admired his sister's "achievements" so much more than his own. He said the conversation was a total revelation, and shook his own views on life, success, and the eternal "what are we here for?" question.

So the son thought the raising of two, healthy and well-adjusted children was a far greater success story than his financial achievements, and single status. The old man was blown-away. He had never really thought of it like that. It was real "meaning of life" stuff, and he had no idea that his son thought that way.

I said: "So maybe that's TRUE SUCCESS, and it's got little to do with money?". He nodded in agreement, looking like a changed man, (I kid you not).

Of course his daughter does not envy her brother. She is very proud of him - not envious.

So what does it all mean?

Firstly, I think everyone, male and female, are only "fulfilled" in life by having children.

Many people will argue and debate that point, but only because they are insecure and dishonest with themselves.

When I then asked the old man: "have you ever praised your daughter for her achievement as a mother, doing so well despite all the hardships she went through?", he not only looked guilty, but had tears in his eyes. (Then I felt guilty!)

Subsequently, he DID praise his daughter, which apparently was a very special moment for her (not surprisingly), although she did say: "I just did what comes naturally to me". It sounds like mere modesty, but I think it's much more than that, probably even more than SHE realizes.

People who CHOOSE not to have children are the ultimate failures in society. Think about it. Like all animals, or plants for that matter, the purpose of life is to carry on through reproduction. It comes naturally, and so it should.

It seems that in Western society, many people have "lost the plot", preferring an eternal life of "zero responsibility consumerism".

Frighteningly, (to me anyway), it seems to be increasingly common in women rather than men, despite the old stereotype that "women want children - men don't". Like my story illustrated, it is largely not recognized that men feel like non-achievers if they do not become fathers. We are programmed to be fathers!

Russian women want children !!

If you are considering a Russian bride, get one thing clear - she wants children!

In Russian culture, success for a woman is measured in terms of marriage and children. That does not mean Russian women want many children, most only want two. In Russia, many women are only having one child, often for financial reasons - wanting to give that child the best opportunities in life. Sometimes there's also the question of commitment to having further children on the part of the husband.

If you look at on-line profiles of Russian (or FSU) women, you will see the majority of them will be very direct about what they want - a husband and children. She will most often say she wishes to create a wonderful family life, looking after her husband and children.

Rarely will you ever see a Russian woman seeking any material/financial or "status" qualities from men. They are simply seeking decent men for life-long partnership with the common goal of having children, and a comfortable, loving, family life.

They will often say "it just seems natural to me". You will also see such comments as "I wish to make home coziness, caring for the favourite person" ("favourite person" = husband), and "I dream of creation of strong family, and a home filled with the laughter of happy children".

Russian women are refreshingly different! Of course, Western feminist non-thinkers are horrified by such beautiful femininity, but who do you think is happier and truly "fulfilled" in life?

Russian women understand...

TRUE SUCCESS = THE SUCCESSFUL RAISING OF CHILDREN

When I first started corresponding with the woman that was to later become my wife, in her first real "letter" (by email), she wrote:

"I wish to have family and children. I do not search for the friend on correspondence. I search for love and mutual understanding. I search for the friend, the husband and the father to our children."

Now that's direct and to the point !!

But as a guy, I can tell you I found that absolutely refreshing!

That sort of directness, obvious femininity, openness/honesty, and "lack of BS" would NEVER happen in Western societies, because the way most people "partner-up" is ILLOGICAL.

Russian women understand TRUE SUCCESS, and what it means to be a "successful woman". They are strong and determined, going after what they want with no illusions or deceit.

Guys - breathe a sigh of relief!


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Saturday, January 20, 2007

Russian Women and TRUE BEAUTY

Much is made of the physical beauty of Russian women in general, but there's something even more important about them.

I call this: TRUE BEAUTY

Not all "beautiful" people are what most people would term "physically attractive".

And, you guessed it - not all "physically attractive" people are truly "beautiful".

Really, everyone knows this, and it is especially true in Western countries.

So is "true beauty" the combination of the two? No, not necessarily!

Of course, "TRUE BEAUTY" really equals: "INNER BEAUTY".

BUT, it seems to me that on average, Russian women are FAR more likely to have that "inner beauty", AND, couple that with physical attractiveness - Wow!

AND, it is true to say that "inner beauty" SHOWS on the outside. It is projected!

Observe a Russian woman (or picture this in your mind):

  • Who takes pride in her femininity
  • Who takes pride in her health
  • Who takes pride in her appearance
  • Who knows how to walk - like a lady
  • Who takes pride in being the most important part of her family
  • Who treasures interacting with and nurturing children
  • Who cares about the people around her
  • Who is highly educated
  • Who knows (and practices) self-discipline and personal responsibility
  • Who is still able to see fundamental, good & beautiful aspects of life
  • Who... (OK, you get the picture!)
Is that an "exceptional" Russian woman?

No - it is a NORMAL Russian woman.

Every man's dream? Possibly!

If it is YOUR dream - make it a reality...


Read more about Russian women and true success:
http://russianwomen4westernmen.blogspot.com/2007/01/russian-women-and-true-success.html


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Friday, January 19, 2007

Options for Finding Your Russian Bride

Probably the hardest part of searching for a partner for life is the worry about finding "the one" - i.e. the RIGHT one, for you.

If you've made the decision to search for a Russian bride, or you are trying to see whether it is an option you wish to pursue or not, you want to make sure you're giving yourself the best chance of success.

"Success" can mean either you fulfil your dream / achieve your goal of marriage, or, at least initially, being able to make informed decisions about where or how you proceed from here, or deciding not to proceed (being satisfied that it's not for you).

Many websites will advocate a "best way" to find your future Russian wife, but of course that's because they are selling that "best way" of doing things. They will warn that other methods of coming into contact with Russian women are fraught with danger!

So what are the options?

  • General on-line dating sites - either local or international
  • Introduction/Marriage Agencies on-line - again, local or international
  • Visiting Russia or FSU countries as a tourist
  • Visiting Russia or FSU countries on a "Romance Tour"
  • Visiting Russia or FSU countries on a language or other educational/cultural tour
  • Visiting Russia or FSU countries as a guest of "Marriage Agencies" (there)
  • Print classifieds/personals in Russia/FSU newspapers and magazines
  • Social networking - personal referral and on-line networking
What I want to do right now is give a quick introduction to the "long-distance" methods, then the "visiting Russia/FSU" methods, and then the "Social networking" methods in subsequent posts.

General on-line dating sites

If you use one of your local on-line "dating" sites, you will often see foreign women with profiles on them for you to see, and you may be approached by foreign women who see your profile.

There are two trains of thought on this.

Firstly, some will say this is a bad way to go because it only gives you a limited selection of women you are targetting, and the chances of you being targetted by scammers is high.

Alternatively, you could argue that the women who have made the extra effort to get involved with specific overseas websites are probably more serious about what they are doing, plus are giving a very clear message about who they are looking for (someone from YOUR specific country). And should you be directly contacted by one of those women, you've already covered two important fundamentals - she's interested in someone from YOUR country, AND, she's interested in YOU. And as long as you be wary of any possible scammer, then you could be off to a good start (so long as you find her of interest too).

I've seen people warn that if you ever get approached by a Russian woman on a general dating site, she's almost guaranteed to be a fake (a scammer). That is simply not true. Those comments are written by owners of Introduction Agencies! Yes, you should be wary, but not dismissive of the possibilities these types of contacts can provide.

International (general) dating sites are also a possibility and the same rules apply, so long as your potential contacts know which country you are from. Maybe the only real difference is perhaps the reduced "peace of mind" because the site is not local, operating under your local laws, and cultural framework.

Introduction/Marriage Agencies on-line

You will have already seen from all the advertising on-line, there are many introduction agencies out there.

In Russia these agencies are called "Marriage" agencies. If you think that sounds a lot more specific that "dating", you're right! The idea is for the women to find husbands, not acquaintances! It's taken very seriously, unlike Western "dating" websites where most people post their profiles on a "let's see what happens" basis. Marriage agencies are filled with potential brides, not just "dates".

The big operators in this field are not only located in Russia. Many of the large and successful agencies are now based in the West, particularly in the U.S., Australia, and the U.K.

These agencies in the West are most often operated by "Russian brides" themselves (and/or their husbands), who have therefore been through it all personally.

Like dating websites, there's good ones and bad ones. Like anything, you should choose by reputation, services & options, and what/who you feel comfortable with.

You may feel more comfortable with a reputable agency based in the West, particularly if it is in your own country, but then there are also some excellent operators in Russia and the other FSU countries. There are also many who shouldn't be allowed to operate!

Look carefully at what they offer, and how they charge for their services. They may show 1000's of pretty faces on their website, but that doesn't mean they are particularly good.

As with dating sites, you need to make sure you are getting to know real women. Reputable agencies carefully screen their ladies and will expel (and blacklist) anyone who abuses the system. On the other hand, non-reputable agencies will not be so thorough, or worse still, could be the ones doing the scamming!

As far as I'm concerned, "scams" in this area not only includes "fake" women (non genuine women or men pretending to be women!), but also agencies "milking" men for continual fees for "correspondence", translation services (etc), before allowing direct contact between you and your new girlfriend. Again, it makes it hard to even know if you're contacting a genuine woman let-alone being able to develop a relationship with her. Men can be "strung-along" for a while by someone who does not actually exist, all the while paying for the privilege, only to be eventually dumped and then switched to another "contact".

Reputable agencies do charge fees. Remember there's "no free lunch". But as I said, the key is HOW they make their money. What you want is to get in contact with potential partners, not just the hope of one. You want direct contact with the ladies, not just contact through a "middle man". So find out exactly what the system is, and the fees involved.

Some agencies will essentially operate the same as a "dating" site, and some will offer more personal and sophisticated matching services. You will, of course, pay accordingly. There's nothing wrong with paying good money for a good service, so long as it is exactly that.

Another consideration is do they have direct contact with their ladies. That is, physical meetings with the ladies on their "books". If they are based in Russia / FSU, it will most often be the case, and that can be a good thing. The large foreign agencies should also have local offices in Russia and other FSU countries, and/or affiliations with local Marriage agencies. If they don't, then they are nothing more than a website with profiles.

Here's a tip - you should be able (and warmly welcomed) to visit the office (in Russia/FSU) of ANY agency you deal with, whether they are based in Australia or Siberia. A reputable agency will not only welcome your visit, but they will encourage it, AND physically introduce you to many of their ladies! (more on this in the "visiting options" segment).

Classifieds / Personals in Russia/FSU

Despite the internet, this is NOT a thing of the past. In fact, it is HUGE.

Remember that not everyone in Russia or the FSU countries has easy access to the internet, and they may choose not to use an agency (especially if they've had a bad experience with one). Some newspapers have whole sections devoted to finding a foreign husband.

Women can advertise themselves (to locals and foreigners), and men can not only peruse the ads, but also advertise themselves to the women. Often the method of contact can be the good old postal system (yes - real mail!! remember that?).

This presents an interesting option. If a foreign man advertises himself, he can then have women contact HIM, and then choose from the women. The cost of an ad is minimal, and the women that make the effort to contact you can be seen as serious prospects as it is expensive for them to send mail and photographs overseas (plus the hassle of translations to English or your other first language which they will most likely do so you can read their letter).

Using this method may seem more "real" than the internet, but it also means much slower (initial) searching and contact, as mail can be slow to and from Russia and FSU countries, not to mention the mail that never makes it all! (luckily that's not too common, but it is something you should be aware of).

In the future, I will go into more detail on all these methods.

Stay tuned for the next segment, which involves going there to meet ladies rather than trying to do it from home (and you still have to meet her eventually anyway!).


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Thursday, January 18, 2007

Russian Beauty of The Week

I had the thought that with all the talk on this site about Russian women, it's all talk and no pictures!

As you can see, I am certainly enthusiastic about the subject, so I thought it would be appropriate to SEE some of the "subjects".

So now I have a "Russian Beauty of The Week" photo included on the side (scroll to find her).

I have kicked it off with a gorgeous girl I personally know.

If you would like to nominate someone (and you have their photo), please do. She must be Russian / FSU though! Photos showing her in her local environment would be good.

Just make sure it's someone you know and preferably have their permission to have their photo posted for all to see.

To contact me / send photos, click on my Profile to send an email.
Include some info or any story that goes with the photo.

Let's see how it goes!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Russian Women and Hunting by Internet

It's funny when you see or hear comments made about Western men "hunting" or "trawling" for beautiful Russian women on the internet.

Of course, such comments are usually made by (so-called) feminists, or jealous guys who are either in unhappy relationships, or just haven't got the "balls" to go and do something life-changing out there in the big wide world.

But hang-on a second. Who's doing the hunting anyway?

It seems obvious to me that it's not so much the guys that have "gone hunting", but rather the women.

It's the women that have created this market, by having the great courage to look abroad from their own country to seek a life partner.

Good on them! When you think about it, that's an incredibly gutsy thing to do. They are that determined to find a suitable husband, that they are prepared to not only go through all the possible difficulties of long-distance relationship-building, but then to leave their country, their family, their friends, their familiar surroundings & culture, their language, jobs & recognized educational qualifications, etc, etc.

Would you do that?

Let's face it - most of us would not, but then we don't feel we are forced into that position, therefore it's difficult to truly understand what it's like to be in that position. As I have already indicated - I think they deserve much credit, and respect, for their courage and determination.

Now that the "marketplace" is there, and made so visible and accessable via the internet, of course men looking for partners are going to have a look.

Especially when the women are most often very attractive, presenting themselves well, and they convey in their profile information that they are generally just looking for the simple things in life, and the opportunity to fulfil their dream of being a great wife and mother.

So who is the hunted, and who is doing the hunting?

In the end it doesn't even matter. The good thing is that women and men are getting together to fulfil their dreams, regardless of distance, language, or other considerations which may have seemed difficult to overcome in the past, but are now, more than ever, easily overcome.

Stick with me.
I'll keep feeding you plenty more info, especially more of the "HOW" variety!


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Monday, January 15, 2007

Russian Women and Stupid Men - Part 1

So far on this site I have not gone into too much detail on "scams" & fraud - yet. As much as I would like to focus on the positives of Russian - Western relations, I feel I have a huge duty to also protect people, not only from others who may not have the best intentions, but also to save some people from themselves. Let me explain.

It's all too easy for anyone to partake in on-line dating and introduction. Most are genuine people looking for genuine relationships, many are curious and exploring options/possiblilities (at least for now anyway), and unfortunately, some people just can't seem to help themselves when they see opportunity to exploit others for personal gain. Of course, without going too much into the subject of "emotional games", or immigration issues, (etc), what I am talking about here is fraud - obtaining money by deception.

How common is it? No-one truly knows the full extent because it is too hard to obtain or analyze the numbers involved. If you are a western guy who has been taken for a ride (read: your money has gone for a ride - one way ticket), you're probably not going to be too keen to tell the world about it, are you?

Having said that, getting scammed is NOT as common as you think,
BUT, it DOES happen,
and, you must be aware of how it can, or is likely to happen,
and, PROTECT YOURSELF.

Let's cover some simple rules:
  • Be honest & up-front in your on-line dealings to attract the RIGHT ladies to you
  • NEVER send money to any woman you have never met.
  • repeat: NEVER.
  • Do not reveal a high income to any woman you have never met.
  • Do not reveal substantial assets you may own (to any woman you have never met).
  • Don't be in a rush, and don't let yourself be rushed.
  • Carefully choose service providers you deal with, and know how they make money.
  • Do your homework and keep learning all the time.
  • Always get a second opinion on anything you're unsure of. (don't be shy - it's easy)
OK, that all sounds easy and "common sense" doesn't it ?
So if a guy can still get scammed, then he must just be stupid, right ?
Wrong!

Firstly, some scamming tricks can be more sophisticated than others.
Secondly, we're talking about the ultimate in emotions here - love, desire, marriage, the future mother of your children, the future & "meaning of life" itself perhaps.
Heavy stuff!
Thirdly.... you're only human!

Read that list of rules again. Carefully.

Also note that not only will those rules protect you financially, but can also help you greatly in finding the right bride for you, save you time, and heartache as well.

Remember, money comes and goes, heartache can be healed, but TIME is lost forever.

More detail on this shortly...


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Sunday, January 14, 2007

Hold the iphone - cheap phone calls!

When you're in a long-distance relationship, and later when your wife will want to keep in regular contact with her former homeland, there is an easy way to save a fortune on phone calls. It's by using a clever little thing called a phone card. You may think of phone cards as something people gave to their kids (in the days before every ten-year-old had their own phone in their pocket), so they could call home if they needed. A credit-card sized piece of plastic with a pretty picture on it (remember the phone card collecting craze?). Now, their look and main purpose is somewhat different.

Firstly, the card is missing something - the card! A physical card is simply not needed. Secondly, they are used by anyone and everyone to by-pass all the traditional local phone companies and get super cheap calls to anywhere in the world. Most traditional phone companies will still charge big dollars to call Russia and other overseas coutries, and particularly so for some of the lesser known FSU countries. Phone cards change all that.

How does it work?
You buy a "card" with a certain amount of call credit. You choose the card that best suits your call needs and gives you the best rate. The cost of the card is the amount of the credit, or sometimes less (ie your rates are effectively reduced even further). The card issuer usually provides a local dial-in number, or a free-call number for you to make your calls through. You then enter your id number, and make your call. Note that you may be charged a much higher rate if you go through a free-call number or other central number. When you use all the credit, you either get a new card, or re-charge your existing card if that option is available with that card.

How do you get one?
(No, I don't sell them, and I don't endorse any particular service either). Simply type "phone card" into the Google search box and it will give you a list of card brokers. They will usually have a large list of different card issuers and types, the card rules, and call rates. Click and buy, it's that simple.

What sort of savings?
Do the above search and you will soon see for yourself. I've seen people go from spending hundreds of dollars a month on their overseas calls, down to just $20-30 a month. It can be that dramatic.

So now there's no excuse - call your bride!
Regularly!

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Happy Russian New Year

Today, January 13, is time to have "New Year" celebrations again!
Like most of us, Russians celebrate New Years Eve, on the 31st of December. In fact, they celebrate it even more so! But there is also "Old New Year" celebrations, which is what today is all about. Prior to 1917, what we are now terming "Old New Year" was really THE new year.

Confused yet? Don't be...

It all comes down to the use of calendars. This is also why "Russian Christmas" falls on January 7, again, 13 days after December 25th Christmas. These dates are due to the tradition of still following the "Julian" calendar for these dates, which was in full use in Russia prior to 1917. Russia switched to the international "Gregorian" calendar (which we all use), that year, however the Church decided not to follow suit, and still followed the "Julian" calendar, hence the strength of the tradition continuing on.

So if you haven't already done so - wish your Russian friends (or "special" friend) a "Happy Old New Year" by extending "congratulations" on the Old New Year.

Interestingly, in London, there is an "Old New Year" celebration organized as part of the third annual "Russian Winter Festival", a free event open to all, held in Trafalgar Square.

http://halldor2.blogspot.com/2006/12/russian-winter-festival-in-london.html

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Beautiful Sexy Russian Brides Prefer Average Men

One thing that often worries guys about potential Russian brides, is the gorgeous photos they see.

They worry that the pictures they see are perhaps too good!

Not only "too good to be true", but perhaps "too good for me". On this particular subject there are some things you really should know.

If you think most of the photos look professional, and the girl "model like", you're right. It is normal for a Russian girl to not only want to look her best, but also to have professional photos taken of herself.

If you compare the profiles of ladies on a local dating site to those on sites promoting Russian ladies, you will quickly see a huge difference. Western women are generally content to use any old "happy snap" photo for their profile, whereas a Russian lady will only use a professional photo where she is dressed well and looking her best.

This is not just something done by dating sites or introduction agencies, rather it is a cultural thing. It is in their nature to take great pride in their appearance and be conscious of how others see and perceive them.

Most Russian ladies searching for a husband overseas are not looking for guys with movie star looks, nor are they looking for wealthy or "well-connected" men. In-fact, guys that are "too" good looking can often deter many of these ladies from responding to them.

Most of them are simply looking for "normal" or "average" guys, someone decent and likeable, with family values. So don't be intimidated by very good looking ladies, or even by their often high education levels, as they are usually not as demanding or "high-maintenance" as you may think.

Remember, you are thinking from your Western experiences. Throw those thoughts out the window, and get back to basics. Basics like age, mutual interests & goals, and, do you find her attractive?

If those things seem right, then go ahead and contact her. You will soon know if the feeling is mutual and then you simply take it from there. Think in general terms and don't get stuck on small details when reading profiles, just cover the basics initially.

Why complicate something that's really simpler than you may think!


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Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Russian Brides Outside Russia

There is widespread ignorance in the West over the FSU (former Soviet Union) countries and their Russian populations. I was recently asked to shine some light on the subject of who the FSU countries are and what is their ethnic make-up.

Without going into too much detail, and keeping it focused on Russian populations, here are some stats:

Russia (no surprises) is where the majority of ethnic Russians are. Russia has an estimated population of around 142million, with 80% of these considered "ethnic Russian".
Ukraine has a population of around 50million. About 17% of those are ethnic Russian, equating to about 8.5million people.
Kazakhstan has a population of around 15million, with about 23% ethnic Russian, or about 3.5million people.
Uzbekistan has a population of around 26million, with about 5% ethnic Russian, or about 1.3million people.
Belarus has a population of around 10million people, with about 11% ethnic Russian, or about 1.1million people.
Latvia has a population of around 2.3million people, with about 28% ethnic Russian, or about 0.6million people.
Kyrgyzstan has a population of around 5million people, with about 10% ethnic Russian, or about 0.5million people (a number that has dropped significantly since independence).

The other FSU countries have ethnic Russian populations of less than 0.5million. These are: Armenia, Azerbaijan, Estonia, Georgia, Lithuania, Moldova, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan.

This raises an interesting question. If the vast majority of Russians are in Russia, is it worth considering potential Russian wives outside of Russia? Clearly the Russian population in Ukraine and Kazakhstan is quite considerable, but should they (and the others) be a focus?

Ukraine in particular deserves some additional insight, not only for it's population size, but for other attributes. The most notable is that the imbalance between males and females in Ukraine is even higher than the other nations, with only around 88 males per 100 females. Of course that's just a raw statistic. More importantly is the staggering imbalance between "available" and "marriage ready" men and women, let-alone "marriage worthy" men (in the eyes of the women, who are generally very keen for marriage/family, so will often compromise much of their dreams if they have to). This is the major reason that you will see a high number of ladies from Ukraine on introduction or dating sites.

Back to my question - should they be considered? Absolutely! In fact, possibly more so.

I would also argue that overall, ladies from more "remote" areas can most often be a better proposition. That doesn't mean you have to go to the mountains of Kazakhstan to find a bride, but keep in mind that you're probably more likely to find the "ideal Russian bride" OUTSIDE of the major cities of Russia, especially Moscow.

Many Western men thinking of a Russian bride often think the obvious thing to do is go to Moscow to "have a look", but I think it is actually the worst thing you could do.

Having said all this, let me explain that I am not saying choose a girl by location. In fact, I am largely saying the opposite. More, choose a girl, and ignore the location. In other words, find the right girl with an open mind to exactly where she is or why she lives there (or any ideas that location brings to mind from your current, perhaps limited, knowledge).

Yes, Moscow is the easiest place to fly into from everywhere else, but perhaps that's not such a good thing. Think about it.

For the more perceptive, this surely raises more interesting questions in your mind!

More on this subject later - both the countries and "big city girls v. remote region girls".


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Monday, January 8, 2007

Borat and Women of Kazakhstan

For those that don't know, Kazakhstan IS a real country. It is an FSU (former Sovient Union) country situated in Central Asia, bordering both Russia and China. Movie critics and people in general have been debating whether or not Sacha Baron Cohen's film "Borat" (short title) is designed to insult people of Kazakhstan, or perhaps just the men, or perhaps it's real target is Americans (and Westerners in general), playing on their ignorance and false perceptions of obscure foreign nations. Maybe all of the above? Or, of course, maybe it's just a money-making exercise and there's no message in it at all. Side-effects are a whole different story.

So, what are the women REALLY like?
Firstly, they are highly educated, with most holding degrees (as a minimum).
Secondly, they generally have much higher family values than their Western counterparts.
Thirdly, they take great pride in their appearance.
Fourthly, their priority in life is marriage and family - to be a good wife and mother.
I could go on and on, but you get the picture.
Single women there are in a similar position to other single women of Russia and the FSU. They outnumber men, let-alone "decent" men, and they either get lucky in their own country, or settle for less than they wish-for (and deserve), or they broaden their horizons and look for men in other countries, ie Western countries.

To portray women in that country as "easy" or even as prostitues, could not be any further from the truth. It's a complete opposite to reality. They are real women, "ladies" if you like, who pride themselves in being real women, and being true to themselves.

Therefore, forget any bizarre images or misconceptions you may have, Kazakhstan is a beautiful country and it's women generally leave Western women in their wake in terms of both inner and outer beauty.

When Western men think of "Russian brides", they usually only think of ladies from Russia, and possibly Ukraine. Don't be ignorant to all the other FSU countries, where you may well be surprised at opportunities to find wonderful women.

Have Western Women Lost The Plot?

It's interesting to hear on a semi-regular basis women in the media in Western countries (usually in their late 30's and older), say "there are no good men available" (and similar).

If you talk to men of the same age, of course they're really thinking the same thing (about the women that is)! They just don't air such views so publicly.

So what's the problem?

Obviously there's a problem here in terms of what men and women want - from each other, from marriage, or life in general. That's nothing short of astounding when you think about it. When we're all brought up in the same country, culture, environment, etc, how is it we end up so non-compatible?

Why do over 50% of marriages in Western countries end in divorce? (the failure rate is of course much higher - that's just the ones who get legally divorced).

It must come down to roles and values. Women are usually accredited with reaching mental maturity or "growing up" at an earlier age than men, yet it seems to be the case these days that when men become more "mature" (by their late 20's or early 30's), and are "ready to settle down", Western women seem to be moving in the opposite direction - wanting more excitment, superficial possessions, wanting to be young forever.

Amazingly, this seems to be particularly so for divorced women, even if they have children. Of course logic would dictate that the experience would surely send them down the maturity path, not the "I'm going to be a teenager again" road, but this trend seems to be growing.

Unfortunately, there's no telling these women where they are going wrong - they'll take offence, won't admit it, or genuinely won't believe the reality. This leaves men shaking their heads in disbelief. Perhaps in time the lonely old Western women who wanted to be "free", "independant", and "impowered" will one day realise they forgot to be women.

Russian women on the other hand know exactly what it means to be a woman. They're proud to be real women, not women trying to be men or compete with men, but to be compatible with men.

Does that mean they are "submissive"? No way! This is a common myth. They are strong, resourceful and determined. They know what they want, and they also know how to be successful in life - all aspects of life.

Of course, "each to their own", but you can speculate about who will be happier later in life!


Read more about Russian women, success, and beauty:
http://russianwomen4westernmen.blogspot.com/2007/01/russian-women-and-true-beauty.html
http://russianwomen4westernmen.blogspot.com/2007/01/russian-women-and-true-success.html


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Natural Russian Women Leave Western Women in the Wilderness

You will very often see in the on-line profiles of Russian women the interest of "Nature". Russian women delight in plants, flowers and all the wonders of the natural environment. Men find this very attractive in contrast to Western women who seem more concerned about materialism and how their often pointless possessions stack-up against that of their peers. Even though most Russians live in apartments, they like to be surrounded by nature, and will often have many plants growing where-ever they can fit! I have seen living rooms turned into virtual jungles, and orange trees growing in bedrooms! But most of all, Russian women love flowers. They like to see them, grow them, and receive them. OK, so all women love to receive flowers, but for a Russian woman, it is very special. If you're seeking a Russian bride, a regular gift of flowers to your special girl will earn you many points! And whatever you do, don't forget to give flowers to her for Womens Day (March 8). Yes, Women's Day. In Russian culture, they do not have Mothers Day or Fathers Day, but they do have this very special day for Women. The most important day of the year!

What's Wrong with Russian Men?

I was talking with someone a while back who asked: "With all those beautiful looking Russian women looking overseas for men, how is it that the men over there have allowed this to happen? Are they blind?"
Well, not quite. Many Russian men don't like the fact they are losing women to other countries, but then, most don't really care either.
The main reason Russian women seek husbands from countries other than their own is simply a matter of availability. There's more Russian women than Russian men. That's one overall thing, but not in itself the main reason. More accurately, there are more women ready and available for marriage than similarly available (not to mention ready or worthy) men. A serious imbalance. It's a numbers game, but the odds are stacked in favour of the men, so why should they worry? Plus the fact that women are ready for marriage very young (generally from 18 and up), whereas men are not that keen to rush into it (there are some real reasons for this, including military service and financial worries amongst others).
Another reason is the problem of drinking. Russian men like to drink - and drink. The women hate it, but the men don't care. Why would they? It's not like they have to bow to the demands or wishes of women - plenty available.
Drinking by Russian men is so bad that the life expectancy of a Russian male is below 60! Whereas for women, the average life expectancy is in the high 70's. Alcoholism is taking it's toll - literally. Unfortunately, as with any part of the world, alcoholism often leads to violence.
This is why you will see profiles of Russian women usually stating that they do not drink, and they seek a man who does not drink. This does not mean they will not tolerate any drinking at all from a prospective partner. Drinking for pleasure and not for the sake of getting drunk is the key. To a Russian woman, "drinking" means "getting drunk", and in Russian culture, that means drinking large amounts of Vodka.
So guys, keep enjoying that wine with dinner, even a beer on the weekend, but remember this critical point about "drinking". Not attractive. Take a big tip - when you meet a Russian lady for the first time (or any time really), don't have alcohol on your breath. She won't mention it, she'll be much too polite - you'll just wonder why she doesn't want to see you again.

Russian Women Desire Western Men - Myth or Reality?

A quick search of the web on the subject of "Russian women/brides" (etc) will reveal mostly websites screaming out about how 1000's of women are are waiting meet YOU, and right NOW.

Occasionally, you'll also see an article about "scamming", "immigration scams" and "internet-based fraud" against love-struck men from around the world.

We've certainly covered both extremes! What's the reality for the average guy?

FIRST THINGS FIRST.
Who writes all of those things, and WHY?

The former are written, of course, by Introduction Agencies. (no prizes there!)
The latter are written by "journalists" who thrive on the sensationalism of a "hot story".

Now the WHY part:
Introduction agencies are after your money - of course they make it all look like a dream!
The journalists write the negative, because (as already indicated), "news" media thrives on negative news, not things that are positive and good. (don't believe it? grab a newspaper and tally the "bad" news against the "warm and fuzzy" stories - the exercise won't take long!)

Most introduction agency websites will also offer plenty of "advice" on what to do, how to do it, how to avoid "scams" or "scammers".

To save you the trouble, here's what they ALL say:
What to do: "use our agency, not anyone elses"
How to do it: "register here and give us your credit card details"
Avoid the scams/scammers: "refer to rule 1"

Am I giving introduction agencies a hammering? Yes and no. (OK, mostly yes!)
But, like anything in this world, there are the "good ones and bad ones". I think most of them probably deserve at least a bit of a kick. Some should be banished from the face of the planet. Some should probably be praised for doing a reasonable job.

The point is, they are out to make some serious money out of guys looking for love. Powerful stuff to be messing with - love, relationships, money, family, loneliness, self-worth, etc.

Back to the main point - women from Russia seeking Western men.

There is so much that could be covered here, so let's keep it to some basic points...

Yes, there are many 1000's of women in Russia and the former Soviet Union ("FSU"), who seek marriage to men from the West.

Are the majority of women over there inclined that way?
No! Certainly not.

Think about it - why on earth would a young lady seek to leave her family, friends, home, familiar surroundings, language, culture, job/qualifications, etc, etc, and move to another part of the world just for a Western guy? Are we that great? (hmmm... tough one to answer objectively!)

The reality is: it mostly comes down to "compatibility", plus "supply and demand".

Sorry to sound so clinical, but it's as simple as that.

In Russia and the FSU countries, WOMEN OUTNUMBER MEN.
More accurately - available & marriage-ready women outnumber available/marriage-ready/willing/suitable men.

In fact, the imbalance is quite significant. It doesn't take a genius to then guess what the result of that is. Women must try harder, and men don't need to try much at all! Does that make the Russian men "bad"? No, it makes them human. In general terms, if the same imbalance was replicated in any Western country, the same result would be evident.

Now the "compatibility" bit - it really stems from the above.
If you're a young Russian lady, and you don't manage to find "Mr Right", and very quickly (as Russians generally marry quite young, ie by age 23 is considered normal), you then only have the pick of men who are generally not interested in making much of an effort (clearly, because they haven't been captured!).

Again, I have no intention of speaking ill of Russian men, as that's not the point of this, but you can see where compatibility goes out the window when you've got women who make a lot of effort to be an attractive "catch", and men who simply don't need to.

So, she can "settle" for less than she's after, or further her search abroad. Literally.

There is much more that could be added here and now, but the above is the most important and basic point.

Russian/FSU women are simply seeking the life-partner, whether locally, or internationally.

They are feminine and family-oriented, and simply seek a "decent man" as a partner. That's it guys - it's as simple as that.

The top priorities for the typical Russian female are to get married, have children, and be a fantastic wife and mother. To most Western guys, this is almost unbelievable, and also very refreshing. There's also nothing wrong with thinking that either. You're not a chauvinist, and you're not seeking to "oppress" women in any way, you just like females to be feminine. You find that to be very attractive. As I said, those are the "top" priorities, not the only aspects to their character.

Which brings us back to compatibility. You can see a "win-win" situation emerging. Women and men getting what they want from each other, on the most basic of levels. Women finding available men who are wanting to marry and have a traditional family relationship, making an effort to treat a lady as such, and to provide for his family. Men finding attractive and feminine women, usually younger than themselves, who wish to be a devoted wife and mother as top priorities, and enjoy being treated as a lady.

The Western, so-called "feminists" can throw their hands up in the air in horror, but who do you think is the happier? (couldn't help myself but throw that one in!)

In summary, Russian women looking abroad for husbands seek just that - a husband. Just a decent, "normal" guy to share life's journey with. They are not just trying to escape their local environment or seek a "better life" in a wealthier country. Genuine women are not after your money or possessions. They are generally not particularly materialistic at all. They are after a suitable partner. That's it.

Seeking a Russian wife IS a viable option for Western men, and can be extremely rewarding, for both people. It's also not for everyone, and should be approached with "eyes wide open". Be cautious, even sceptical, but also be open to things that will "blow your mind", and warm your heart.

There's a whole other world (of happiness even), to discover. Get ready.


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