Options for Finding Your Russian Bride
Probably the hardest part of searching for a partner for life is the worry about finding "the one" - i.e. the RIGHT one, for you.
If you've made the decision to search for a Russian bride, or you are trying to see whether it is an option you wish to pursue or not, you want to make sure you're giving yourself the best chance of success.
"Success" can mean either you fulfil your dream / achieve your goal of marriage, or, at least initially, being able to make informed decisions about where or how you proceed from here, or deciding not to proceed (being satisfied that it's not for you).
Many websites will advocate a "best way" to find your future Russian wife, but of course that's because they are selling that "best way" of doing things. They will warn that other methods of coming into contact with Russian women are fraught with danger!
So what are the options?
- General on-line dating sites - either local or international
- Introduction/Marriage Agencies on-line - again, local or international
- Visiting Russia or FSU countries as a tourist
- Visiting Russia or FSU countries on a "Romance Tour"
- Visiting Russia or FSU countries on a language or other educational/cultural tour
- Visiting Russia or FSU countries as a guest of "Marriage Agencies" (there)
- Print classifieds/personals in Russia/FSU newspapers and magazines
- Social networking - personal referral and on-line networking
General on-line dating sites
If you use one of your local on-line "dating" sites, you will often see foreign women with profiles on them for you to see, and you may be approached by foreign women who see your profile.
There are two trains of thought on this.
Firstly, some will say this is a bad way to go because it only gives you a limited selection of women you are targetting, and the chances of you being targetted by scammers is high.
Alternatively, you could argue that the women who have made the extra effort to get involved with specific overseas websites are probably more serious about what they are doing, plus are giving a very clear message about who they are looking for (someone from YOUR specific country). And should you be directly contacted by one of those women, you've already covered two important fundamentals - she's interested in someone from YOUR country, AND, she's interested in YOU. And as long as you be wary of any possible scammer, then you could be off to a good start (so long as you find her of interest too).
I've seen people warn that if you ever get approached by a Russian woman on a general dating site, she's almost guaranteed to be a fake (a scammer). That is simply not true. Those comments are written by owners of Introduction Agencies! Yes, you should be wary, but not dismissive of the possibilities these types of contacts can provide.
International (general) dating sites are also a possibility and the same rules apply, so long as your potential contacts know which country you are from. Maybe the only real difference is perhaps the reduced "peace of mind" because the site is not local, operating under your local laws, and cultural framework.
Introduction/Marriage Agencies on-line
You will have already seen from all the advertising on-line, there are many introduction agencies out there.
In Russia these agencies are called "Marriage" agencies. If you think that sounds a lot more specific that "dating", you're right! The idea is for the women to find husbands, not acquaintances! It's taken very seriously, unlike Western "dating" websites where most people post their profiles on a "let's see what happens" basis. Marriage agencies are filled with potential brides, not just "dates".
The big operators in this field are not only located in Russia. Many of the large and successful agencies are now based in the West, particularly in the U.S., Australia, and the U.K.
These agencies in the West are most often operated by "Russian brides" themselves (and/or their husbands), who have therefore been through it all personally.
Like dating websites, there's good ones and bad ones. Like anything, you should choose by reputation, services & options, and what/who you feel comfortable with.
You may feel more comfortable with a reputable agency based in the West, particularly if it is in your own country, but then there are also some excellent operators in Russia and the other FSU countries. There are also many who shouldn't be allowed to operate!
Look carefully at what they offer, and how they charge for their services. They may show 1000's of pretty faces on their website, but that doesn't mean they are particularly good.
As with dating sites, you need to make sure you are getting to know real women. Reputable agencies carefully screen their ladies and will expel (and blacklist) anyone who abuses the system. On the other hand, non-reputable agencies will not be so thorough, or worse still, could be the ones doing the scamming!
As far as I'm concerned, "scams" in this area not only includes "fake" women (non genuine women or men pretending to be women!), but also agencies "milking" men for continual fees for "correspondence", translation services (etc), before allowing direct contact between you and your new girlfriend. Again, it makes it hard to even know if you're contacting a genuine woman let-alone being able to develop a relationship with her. Men can be "strung-along" for a while by someone who does not actually exist, all the while paying for the privilege, only to be eventually dumped and then switched to another "contact".
Reputable agencies do charge fees. Remember there's "no free lunch". But as I said, the key is HOW they make their money. What you want is to get in contact with potential partners, not just the hope of one. You want direct contact with the ladies, not just contact through a "middle man". So find out exactly what the system is, and the fees involved.
Some agencies will essentially operate the same as a "dating" site, and some will offer more personal and sophisticated matching services. You will, of course, pay accordingly. There's nothing wrong with paying good money for a good service, so long as it is exactly that.
Another consideration is do they have direct contact with their ladies. That is, physical meetings with the ladies on their "books". If they are based in Russia / FSU, it will most often be the case, and that can be a good thing. The large foreign agencies should also have local offices in Russia and other FSU countries, and/or affiliations with local Marriage agencies. If they don't, then they are nothing more than a website with profiles.
Here's a tip - you should be able (and warmly welcomed) to visit the office (in Russia/FSU) of ANY agency you deal with, whether they are based in Australia or Siberia. A reputable agency will not only welcome your visit, but they will encourage it, AND physically introduce you to many of their ladies! (more on this in the "visiting options" segment).
Classifieds / Personals in Russia/FSU
Despite the internet, this is NOT a thing of the past. In fact, it is HUGE.
Remember that not everyone in Russia or the FSU countries has easy access to the internet, and they may choose not to use an agency (especially if they've had a bad experience with one). Some newspapers have whole sections devoted to finding a foreign husband.
Women can advertise themselves (to locals and foreigners), and men can not only peruse the ads, but also advertise themselves to the women. Often the method of contact can be the good old postal system (yes - real mail!! remember that?).
This presents an interesting option. If a foreign man advertises himself, he can then have women contact HIM, and then choose from the women. The cost of an ad is minimal, and the women that make the effort to contact you can be seen as serious prospects as it is expensive for them to send mail and photographs overseas (plus the hassle of translations to English or your other first language which they will most likely do so you can read their letter).
Using this method may seem more "real" than the internet, but it also means much slower (initial) searching and contact, as mail can be slow to and from Russia and FSU countries, not to mention the mail that never makes it all! (luckily that's not too common, but it is something you should be aware of).
In the future, I will go into more detail on all these methods.
Stay tuned for the next segment, which involves going there to meet ladies rather than trying to do it from home (and you still have to meet her eventually anyway!).
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