Monday, January 22, 2007

Russian Women and TRUE SUCCESS

I had an interesting conversation with an elderly gentleman recently which amazed both me and him.

We were talking about money, property, wealth for retirement, etc, etc. Like a lot of older people, he says "I wish I knew back then (when I was younger), what I know now", in relation to financial matters.

He proudly told me about how "successful" his son was, who had well-above average wealth for his age (mid 30's), and how he was constantly disappointed by his daughter (in her late 30's), who had virtually no wealth at all.

Of course the word "wealth" was used in a purely economic sense.

I know both people (his children) reasonably well, and let me tell you their critical differences, and why I questioned his interpretation of success.

The son is a really nice guy, and yes, has achieved some impressive goals thus far in his life. He is also single, never married, no children, lives a fairly quiet life, and doesn't feel like he's really achieved much at all in life thus far.

The daughter, a bit older, was married and had children very young. The marriage did not last and she became a single-mother for most of the children's lives. She now has two, virtually adult children, who are both really great, surprisingly well-adjusted young people. Yes, she's hopeless with money, and like her brother, feels she hasn't really achieved anything in life thus far.

If neither of them seem particularly happy with what they've achieved thus far, then are either of them "successful"?

Their father certainly thought it was clear who was successful and who wasn't.

I asked him if he thought either sibling envied the other. He replied that he presumed his daughter envied her brother for being much more "successful" than her.

I said I wouldn't be surprised if there was more envy flowing the other way. In reality, I actually thought there might be equal measures of envy between the two, but I was just trying to push the point with him. The old man was surprised at my suggestion, laughing at first, but then, realizing I was quite serious, asked why I would think that.

Rather than answer him, I said "ask him" (your son). He looked worried at the thought, so I suggested he just casually ask his son "how's life?" or "how is everything going for you?", or similar.

When I next spoke to the old man, he had tracked me down especially to speak to me and was keen to tell me about the conversation he had with his son. They live quite a distance apart, so the conversation was on the phone. He said he casually raised the "how's life?" subject and was blown away by what ensued.

The result? They spoke for over two hours!

I was not only right, but even I was shocked at how right I was. The old man obviously thought I was amazing, as he told me all about how his son really admired his sister's "achievements" so much more than his own. He said the conversation was a total revelation, and shook his own views on life, success, and the eternal "what are we here for?" question.

So the son thought the raising of two, healthy and well-adjusted children was a far greater success story than his financial achievements, and single status. The old man was blown-away. He had never really thought of it like that. It was real "meaning of life" stuff, and he had no idea that his son thought that way.

I said: "So maybe that's TRUE SUCCESS, and it's got little to do with money?". He nodded in agreement, looking like a changed man, (I kid you not).

Of course his daughter does not envy her brother. She is very proud of him - not envious.

So what does it all mean?

Firstly, I think everyone, male and female, are only "fulfilled" in life by having children.

Many people will argue and debate that point, but only because they are insecure and dishonest with themselves.

When I then asked the old man: "have you ever praised your daughter for her achievement as a mother, doing so well despite all the hardships she went through?", he not only looked guilty, but had tears in his eyes. (Then I felt guilty!)

Subsequently, he DID praise his daughter, which apparently was a very special moment for her (not surprisingly), although she did say: "I just did what comes naturally to me". It sounds like mere modesty, but I think it's much more than that, probably even more than SHE realizes.

People who CHOOSE not to have children are the ultimate failures in society. Think about it. Like all animals, or plants for that matter, the purpose of life is to carry on through reproduction. It comes naturally, and so it should.

It seems that in Western society, many people have "lost the plot", preferring an eternal life of "zero responsibility consumerism".

Frighteningly, (to me anyway), it seems to be increasingly common in women rather than men, despite the old stereotype that "women want children - men don't". Like my story illustrated, it is largely not recognized that men feel like non-achievers if they do not become fathers. We are programmed to be fathers!

Russian women want children !!

If you are considering a Russian bride, get one thing clear - she wants children!

In Russian culture, success for a woman is measured in terms of marriage and children. That does not mean Russian women want many children, most only want two. In Russia, many women are only having one child, often for financial reasons - wanting to give that child the best opportunities in life. Sometimes there's also the question of commitment to having further children on the part of the husband.

If you look at on-line profiles of Russian (or FSU) women, you will see the majority of them will be very direct about what they want - a husband and children. She will most often say she wishes to create a wonderful family life, looking after her husband and children.

Rarely will you ever see a Russian woman seeking any material/financial or "status" qualities from men. They are simply seeking decent men for life-long partnership with the common goal of having children, and a comfortable, loving, family life.

They will often say "it just seems natural to me". You will also see such comments as "I wish to make home coziness, caring for the favourite person" ("favourite person" = husband), and "I dream of creation of strong family, and a home filled with the laughter of happy children".

Russian women are refreshingly different! Of course, Western feminist non-thinkers are horrified by such beautiful femininity, but who do you think is happier and truly "fulfilled" in life?

Russian women understand...

TRUE SUCCESS = THE SUCCESSFUL RAISING OF CHILDREN

When I first started corresponding with the woman that was to later become my wife, in her first real "letter" (by email), she wrote:

"I wish to have family and children. I do not search for the friend on correspondence. I search for love and mutual understanding. I search for the friend, the husband and the father to our children."

Now that's direct and to the point !!

But as a guy, I can tell you I found that absolutely refreshing!

That sort of directness, obvious femininity, openness/honesty, and "lack of BS" would NEVER happen in Western societies, because the way most people "partner-up" is ILLOGICAL.

Russian women understand TRUE SUCCESS, and what it means to be a "successful woman". They are strong and determined, going after what they want with no illusions or deceit.

Guys - breathe a sigh of relief!


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1 comment:

Shaun Alexander said...

Thanks GL.

Yes, the more I thought about that incident, the more I could see the a clear connection between not only the children & "life success" idea, but also why Russian women are just so attractive as REAL women, not currupted by the confusion of the (mostly non-sensical) male/female politics in the West.