Back from the USSR

Apologies for the lack of new content in recent times, but I return a very relaxed and happy man!

Why?

I just spent the whole month in the depths of the FSU (former Soviet Union).

And am I refreshed?

You bet... 100% !!

It's now Springtime - snow melting off the mountains, trees regaining their leaves, the smell of flowers in the air where-ever you walk...

And the coats and jackets are being cast-aside - people enjoying being outdoors, and paying more attention to what they wear - adjusting the wardrobe for Spring and Summer!

Parks and tree-lined avenues are buzzing with people, often with no agenda at all, just wanting to be outdoors with other people. To be part of life.

And beautiful girls notice the non-local, and I have their undivided attention, even with my wife on my arm.

She just looks straight ahead, always the dignified lady, the most subtle contented smile.

Later she will laugh with her female relatives and old aquaintances about things that happen - why I get so much better service in many shops, whereas most people never even get a smile...

And I think, hang-on, it's only "me"... just an everyday nobody / Mr Average in my own country.

But this is a whole different world...

And I like it!

The Beauty of Women's Day

I've heard some great success stories of guys impressing their ladies on Women's Day just passed.

Unfortunately in this country, it is almost unknown, and is certainly not a public holiday.

Whilst going about business as usual on Thursday (March 8 - Women's Day), I asked different people, both male and female, if they knew anything about it, or were doing anything special.

Let's just say the response was disappointing to say the least.

The women were generally just ignorant of it.

But the reaction of men was much more of a shock.

The general response was something like: "What for? Why do we have to have a day for everything, and why isn't there a day for us?" (etc)

I honestly found that quite surprising, until I thought about it more.

On the surface, the women appear apathetic, and the men seem resentful of the idea (of a day for women). But there must, of course, be reasons for this.

I think one major reason is a perception in the West that International Women's Day is all about the feminist movement, and is therefore a day of male/female politics and conflict, rather than any reason for celebration.

Of course what is interesting is that in Russia (and many other countries) where Women's Day is a huge holiday and celebration, it is no such thing. Feminist movements and politics simply do not factor into it.

Women's day is such an overwhelming success there because it is a day of respect, thanks, appreciation, admiration, love, friendship, and a celebration of femininity - NOT feminism. It's about real women, and men's acknowledgment of these proud females in their life.

By contrast, we in the West place emphasis on other days, for example "Mother's Day" - a nice concept, but it has been totally hijacked by the retail industry who pressure us into buying ever more, "bigger and better" gifts, to "show we care". The beauty, and the whole point, is somewhat lost.

Now contrast that back to Russia (and many other countries), where, along with flowers and chocolate giving, gifts are more often personally made rather than simply bought. It is much more about thoughts and actions, rather than materialism.

If you missed the significance of this beautiful day (not hard when you live in the West), it's not too late to show someone in one of those (perhaps, "more enlightened") countries that you care. Let her know you have found out the significance of the day (which is not celebrated in your own country), and "give congratulations" to her. She will understand and appreciate this. Ask her how she celebrated the day.

And never miss it again...!

Your Russian Girlfriend and Women's Day

The most important day of the year is almost upon us!

March 8 - International Women's Day.

Many people around the world may be unaware of this day, but in Russian culture it is a huge event.

Bigger than Valentines Day or even Christmas Day.

Despite the political origins of Women's Day, for Russian women it holds no political significance, only beauty and celebration.

Not only it is a celebration of women and femininity, but it also celebrates the start of Spring.

And what connects the two?

Flowers, of course!

Women's day is a day where all men should give flowers and gifts to the women in their life. Not just wives or girlfriends, but also family members, even work colleagues.

Men should also not allow their women to do any work of any kind. For Russian women, this is a rare day! No going to work (it's a public holiday anyway), no housework, no cooking. It's all to be done by men.

This is not another Valentines Day, which is more a private celebration for couples. This is a day for ALL women. A day of thanks, appreciation, respect and admiration.

Women's Day is an official public holiday in Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, Bulgaria, Moldova, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Tajikistan and Uzbekistan (along with a few other countries).

It is also well-celebrated in Hungary, Poland and Romania (although it is not a public holiday).

Impress any Russian women in your life with a card, gift, or flowers.

If you are just starting to get-to-know a Russian lady by correspondence, at least send an electronic card. If you know her a little better, organize a flower delivery. It's easy to do. Include a box of chocolates for that little something extra.

For more information on flower-giving to Russian women (VERY important):
Russian Women - Flowers 101

To miss this opportunity is unforgivable!
So get to it!

Russian Women - Flowers 101

Most women have an affection for flowers, but...

Russian women LOVE flowers!

Flowers can send a big message - transcending language barriers, speaking the international languages of love, caring, and careful consideration.

Whether you're only at the correspondence stage, or perhaps at the meeting stage, dating, popping the question, or celebrating a special occasion...

Give the gift of flowers - they will be very well-received!

But make sure you do it right!

There are things you should know...

If you're getting to know your girl by long-distance correspondence and things are progressing well, organize a surprise flower delivery. She'll be most impressed.
Tip: don't do it in the very first week - it could back-fire on you (could be seen as "buying" her interest).

When you meet your girl for the first time (in person, after your long-distance relations have been successful - i.e. you have a relationship of sorts), give her a red rose as soon as you meet (doesn't have to be the very first minute you see her in the airport terminal, but perhaps in the taxi).
Tip: BRING the red rose from home. Yes, you read correctly - from YOUR home. Not the flower shop at the airport where you land, but from your own country. Don't worry if it looks half-dead by the time you hand it to her - you just brought it half way around the world! That's the point - not just a flower, but an extra special gift. I bet she presses it into a book and never discards it. (Also, even if it looks "travel weary", it will still have the fragrance).

If you're after a way to meet girls unannounced (when in Russia/FSU) - try giving a flower to a girl out of the blue. Simply say: "A pretty flower for a pretty girl" and see her reaction. Not only will she be astounded by the gesture, she'll notice you are a foreigner, which will also intrigue her. If nothing else, she'll take it as a compliment, and it will be an enjoyable moment for both of you.
Tips: before pulling such a move, check her right hand ring finger for a wedding ring (yes - right hand, which is the local custom). Refer to her as a "girl", not a woman. Have a card you can give her with your name, email, and local contact details on it. Ask her for her details. Don't worry if her English isn't too good.

When spending time with your girl - take any opportunity to give her a flower, or eleven! Often you will see flower stalls near shops or markets. She will be visibly proud as she walks down the street on the arm of her man, clutching flowers in the other hand, which that wonderful man has just bought her!
Tip: don't ask her if she'd like some flowers, INSIST upon stopping to have a look at the flowers, then tell her to nominate her favorites, and buy them! You could spot a flower seller and say "We NEED some flowers!", and lead her there! She'll love it!

Make sure you give her flowers for her birthday,

Valentines Day, and Women's Day.

Roses are the most adored and prized flowers to Russian women. As in the West, red roses are the symbol of love. White roses are a classy alternative if you think red might be a bit strong, or just for something different.

Long-stem roses are preferred, and (in Russia), being rare, represent the rarity and delightful innocence of love.

Tulips, carnations, and other well-known flowers are also popular. Lilies can be given, with their stunning appearance and unique fragrance, but remember that white lilies are often seen as "sympathy"/funeral flowers.

When sending flowers for the first time, if you think roses might be a bit strong (as a message), send a bouquet of mixed seasonal flowers chosen by the florist. You could also include a small box of chocolates with it - you know, just to be practical!

Send a bright, multicolor arrangement if she is unwell or in need of a cheer-up. Send white lilies or carnations as a sympathy arrangement.

ESSENTIAL flower-giving tips:

ODD numbers only - give flowers in odd numbers (i.e. 5, 7, 9, 11, etc).
In Russian / Slavic tradition, an even number of flowers is a bad omen - you bring an even number of flowers to a funeral (for example 2 or 4 flowers). If giving a large bouquet, the number count is not so critical, but if it contains roses, make sure there's an odd number of roses at least. Any odd number is good - the more the better. Give 11 instead of a dozen.

Yellow flowers (predominantly, or on their own) are not to be given to a loved one - they symbolize unfaithfulness. But if her favorite color is yellow, there may be some rule-bending there!

Don't forget her mother! Earn some serious "gentleman points" by giving a bouquet or a single rose to your girl's mother on the important holidays and special occasions. You'll be seen as having some serious class and style!

Most flower delivery services offer to take a photo of your girl receiving the flowers. Think about that for a second. Not only is it a great "real", and recent photo of your girl, and not only does it confirm the delivering of the service you've paid for, but it also confirms her very existence as well.

If, up until now, you've only be corresponding remotely, a flower and/or gift delivery service can confirm she is in-fact real, visiting her at her home address and photographing her. Whether you had any doubts or not, it's nice to have that snap-shot of reality, and see her with a smile as she holds the flowers you just gave her.

Flower delivery services are available in almost every city in Russia and the FSU countries. Do a good search as prices can vary quite considerably. Also note there can be significant seasonal variances in availability and price of different flowers too.

Now go court her like a gentleman !


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Russian Women and Greedy Western Men

A key difference you may encounter when meeting Russian women is how they look at money, concepts of "value", and the etiquette of it all.

In the West, we always observe prices and make judgements about "value for money". It is also not considered unusual to discuss such things in almost any situation. Although even in the West, you wouldn't want to make it too obvious that you only select things based on price, especially in a romantic situation, for the risk of appearing "cheap".

In Russia / FSU it is considered "bad manners" to talk of how "expensive" something is, or that it does not represent "value". At the start of a relationship, it can be the kiss of death.

First, let's look at how different terms are perceived.

To a Westerner, "expensive" or "dear" = "overpriced", and "not good value-for-money"

To a Russian, "expensive" means "I can not afford it / do not have the money for it"

Think about that for a second. There's a critical difference in word meaning alone. "Pricey" v. "unaffordable".

More importantly, common social etiquette for Russian people is to not even discuss such things, especially in a romantic situation.

If a Western man objects to something being "expensive" in any way, he is labelled "greedy". He is perceived as being "tight" and "money-counting" or "penny-pinching".

A lot of it is due to costs and means of living. You have grown-up in two totally different systems of living, and paying for your living expenses. In the West, you are accustomed to having to be totally responsible for all the costs of living, and having to budget accordingly.

Unfortunately for an unknowing Western male, it's difficult for you to be seen as just being "wise with your money" when you make $4000 per month, compared to $100-200 per month average monthly earnings it the FSU. How could you not afford something?

When you comment that something is expensive, and you have a wad of cash in your wallet, you are clearly greedy. If you don't want to buy something, then don't. But don't make a fuss over it, just move on.

People of the FSU do not understand that most people in the West barely see anything left of that $4000 after all the expenses of a month's living. But don't try too hard to explain the "relativeness" of earnings and expenditure between the two different countries - it won't wash. You're just trying to make excuses for your "greediness"!

A genuine Russian lady will not like to admit she is "in need" of anything or is unable to afford the things she needs in life. Whilst she will gracefully accept "romantic" gifts (flowers, chocolates, even jewelry) from someone that takes her interest, she will not be comfortable accepting more practical gifts or financial assistance under most circumstances.

Russian women like generous men. Now that doesn't mean you have to shower your girl with constant gifts and expenditure, it's more about generosity as an approach to your prospective partner, rather than generously spending money as such. It's about thoughtfulness, and courting like a gentleman. Excessive gift-giving or financial assistance may back-fire on you without you even realizing it. She does not want to feel greedy herself! She also does not want you to think she can be bought, or for her to feel she is "for sale".

If you are only at the stage of getting to know a girl by long-distance relations (emails/letters/phone), you can impress her by sending her flowers/gifts. You will appear "generous". When you do meet her in person, you MUST have gifts. It is essential. They don't have to be in any way expensive - it's the thoughtfulness behind them that's important. But whatever you do, don't even discuss costs or perceptions of "value".

When you discuss meeting for the first time, don't comment on the cost of the travel or how much of a good deal you've been able to source. The ONLY thing that matters is that you have made a commitment to visit her. If you start talking costs, it will seem your priorities are not quite where they should be!

If you say you can not afford to buy your tickets just yet, it sounds like an excuse for you not wanting to commit to making the journey to seeing her. You obviously do not WANT to visit her. You may think you're just being honest - and she may think you're being dishonest!

If you really are having a problem with affordability (for travel tickets and other expenses), it is better to push back the date and tell her you cannot travel until that time due to work commitments or leave entitlements (or whatever), rather than say anything about costs. Remember, she wants to know that you are coming, not the details of your monthly budget.

When it comes to money matters - just be tactful and discreet. It's that simple.

When you are courting a lady, money is just a system of payment, NOT a focus.

Focus on what's more important...


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Natural Russian Women Leave Western Women in the Wilderness

You will very often see in the on-line profiles of Russian women the interest of "Nature". Russian women delight in plants, flowers and all the wonders of the natural environment. Men find this very attractive in contrast to Western women who seem more concerned about materialism and how their often pointless possessions stack-up against that of their peers. Even though most Russians live in apartments, they like to be surrounded by nature, and will often have many plants growing where-ever they can fit! I have seen living rooms turned into virtual jungles, and orange trees growing in bedrooms! But most of all, Russian women love flowers. They like to see them, grow them, and receive them. OK, so all women love to receive flowers, but for a Russian woman, it is very special. If you're seeking a Russian bride, a regular gift of flowers to your special girl will earn you many points! And whatever you do, don't forget to give flowers to her for Womens Day (March 8). Yes, Women's Day. In Russian culture, they do not have Mothers Day or Fathers Day, but they do have this very special day for Women. The most important day of the year!