Your Russian Girlfriend Is Not Dear

Words can have peculiar meanings from one culture to the next.

I have previously explained the subtle but important differences in meaning of the words "expensive" and "dear" between Russians and English speakers.

There are many examples of English words that can very easily confuse someone with limited English, AND, even if language is translated, you must remember that true (intended) meanings can be lost, and misunderstandings formed.

In written correspondence, English speakers will almost always commence their writing with the word "Dear" and then the name of person they are addressing the letter to. It is normal whether the letter is for personal or business reasons, or if the person is known to you or not.

It is simply a standard, customary way of writing. It generally has no further meaning.

When writing to Russian girls however, you should never start your writing in this way.
At least not until you have a solid relationship, and even then it may still not be what she wants to see.

There a couple of reasons why it is not appropriate to use the word "dear".

In Russian letter writing, the word "dear" would mean that you know someone very well and they mean a great deal to you. So to start your very first letter to a Russian in this way may come across as non-genuine or make her feel uncomfortable.

If relations by correspondence develop, it may be OK, but it's more safe to avoid using it. The other reason it may not be well-received, even if you do have a "relationship" is the more literal meaning of the word which (to us) means "expensive". If she sees it in that light, she may not take it as the compliment that you might feel it could be. She does not see herself as "dear", needing to be bought or spent money upon. This could be insulting as it would make her "greedy".

She does not like greedy men, and she would never want to be seen as greedy herself.

Read about "greedy" if you haven't already done so:
http://russianwomen4westernmen.blogspot.com/2007/02/russian-women-and-greedy-western-men.html

The solution is to simply use the word "hello". When translated it will be "Privyet" which means hi/hello. It is a regular, somewhat informal greeting. If you don't know any Russian words yet, there's your first one! (and how it's pronounced in English).

Example:
Hello Elena,
(start writing as you would any letter)...

What about signing off the letter?

Again, think conservative and do not write "Love, (your name)" when you do not have a full relationship with her, and by that I mean you have met her and are in love (and the feeling is mutual)!

End the letter by saying something like: "I hope to hear from you soon" or "I look forward to your next letter", and then simply write your name on the last line. If you want to be a little more formal, especially to someone you don't already know, you can sign-off with "Sincerely, (your name)". Simple!

More on letter/email writing etiquette, and "how not to stuff it up" / create misunderstandings, later...


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