Russian Women - Flowers 101

Most women have an affection for flowers, but...

Russian women LOVE flowers!

Flowers can send a big message - transcending language barriers, speaking the international languages of love, caring, and careful consideration.

Whether you're only at the correspondence stage, or perhaps at the meeting stage, dating, popping the question, or celebrating a special occasion...

Give the gift of flowers - they will be very well-received!

But make sure you do it right!

There are things you should know...

If you're getting to know your girl by long-distance correspondence and things are progressing well, organize a surprise flower delivery. She'll be most impressed.
Tip: don't do it in the very first week - it could back-fire on you (could be seen as "buying" her interest).

When you meet your girl for the first time (in person, after your long-distance relations have been successful - i.e. you have a relationship of sorts), give her a red rose as soon as you meet (doesn't have to be the very first minute you see her in the airport terminal, but perhaps in the taxi).
Tip: BRING the red rose from home. Yes, you read correctly - from YOUR home. Not the flower shop at the airport where you land, but from your own country. Don't worry if it looks half-dead by the time you hand it to her - you just brought it half way around the world! That's the point - not just a flower, but an extra special gift. I bet she presses it into a book and never discards it. (Also, even if it looks "travel weary", it will still have the fragrance).

If you're after a way to meet girls unannounced (when in Russia/FSU) - try giving a flower to a girl out of the blue. Simply say: "A pretty flower for a pretty girl" and see her reaction. Not only will she be astounded by the gesture, she'll notice you are a foreigner, which will also intrigue her. If nothing else, she'll take it as a compliment, and it will be an enjoyable moment for both of you.
Tips: before pulling such a move, check her right hand ring finger for a wedding ring (yes - right hand, which is the local custom). Refer to her as a "girl", not a woman. Have a card you can give her with your name, email, and local contact details on it. Ask her for her details. Don't worry if her English isn't too good.

When spending time with your girl - take any opportunity to give her a flower, or eleven! Often you will see flower stalls near shops or markets. She will be visibly proud as she walks down the street on the arm of her man, clutching flowers in the other hand, which that wonderful man has just bought her!
Tip: don't ask her if she'd like some flowers, INSIST upon stopping to have a look at the flowers, then tell her to nominate her favorites, and buy them! You could spot a flower seller and say "We NEED some flowers!", and lead her there! She'll love it!

Make sure you give her flowers for her birthday,

Valentines Day, and Women's Day.

Roses are the most adored and prized flowers to Russian women. As in the West, red roses are the symbol of love. White roses are a classy alternative if you think red might be a bit strong, or just for something different.

Long-stem roses are preferred, and (in Russia), being rare, represent the rarity and delightful innocence of love.

Tulips, carnations, and other well-known flowers are also popular. Lilies can be given, with their stunning appearance and unique fragrance, but remember that white lilies are often seen as "sympathy"/funeral flowers.

When sending flowers for the first time, if you think roses might be a bit strong (as a message), send a bouquet of mixed seasonal flowers chosen by the florist. You could also include a small box of chocolates with it - you know, just to be practical!

Send a bright, multicolor arrangement if she is unwell or in need of a cheer-up. Send white lilies or carnations as a sympathy arrangement.

ESSENTIAL flower-giving tips:

ODD numbers only - give flowers in odd numbers (i.e. 5, 7, 9, 11, etc).
In Russian / Slavic tradition, an even number of flowers is a bad omen - you bring an even number of flowers to a funeral (for example 2 or 4 flowers). If giving a large bouquet, the number count is not so critical, but if it contains roses, make sure there's an odd number of roses at least. Any odd number is good - the more the better. Give 11 instead of a dozen.

Yellow flowers (predominantly, or on their own) are not to be given to a loved one - they symbolize unfaithfulness. But if her favorite color is yellow, there may be some rule-bending there!

Don't forget her mother! Earn some serious "gentleman points" by giving a bouquet or a single rose to your girl's mother on the important holidays and special occasions. You'll be seen as having some serious class and style!

Most flower delivery services offer to take a photo of your girl receiving the flowers. Think about that for a second. Not only is it a great "real", and recent photo of your girl, and not only does it confirm the delivering of the service you've paid for, but it also confirms her very existence as well.

If, up until now, you've only be corresponding remotely, a flower and/or gift delivery service can confirm she is in-fact real, visiting her at her home address and photographing her. Whether you had any doubts or not, it's nice to have that snap-shot of reality, and see her with a smile as she holds the flowers you just gave her.

Flower delivery services are available in almost every city in Russia and the FSU countries. Do a good search as prices can vary quite considerably. Also note there can be significant seasonal variances in availability and price of different flowers too.

Now go court her like a gentleman !


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Russian Women and Stupid Men - Part 2

What's worse than the possibility of being labelled "stupid" by other people after getting scammed?

Knowing you've been scammed, and feeling / labelling YOURSELF as being stupid.

So, just "bury your head in the sand" and "hope for the best"?
I don't think so!

As the wise old saying goes - Prevention is better than cure.

If you haven't already read Part 1 to this, do so now...

http://russianwomen4westernmen.blogspot.com/2007/01/russian-women-and-stupid-men-part-1.html

Now, in this part, let's look at Basic Money Scam Scenarios and Red Flags to watch out for.

Most scams/fraud against men from Western countries by women from Russia or FSU countries, are not too sophisticated in nature, but for the unwary, they could at least waste your time and possibly impact upon your view of the women in general, let-alone take your money.

Picture these scenarios:

You contact a lady, or are contacted by one, and you start exchanging correspondence to get to know one another. After a few weeks everything seems to be going well despite the language and cultural differences, and then she asks if it would be possible for you to send a little money for her to continue to use the "Internet Club" to keep up the emails between you and her.

Is she a scammer?

You're in contact with a lady, and all is going well, then she says she wants to come and meet you in your country. She will organize things. No mention of money.

Is she a scammer?

Again, all is going well, she writes many emails but does not answer any specific questions you ask, or if she does, it is only as a short note at the end of the message.

Is she a scammer?

OK, straight to it -
1st scenario - maybe, maybe not.
2nd scenario - most likely.
3rd scenario - most likely.

In the first scenario, it's not a good sign if any woman is that forward in asking for money, as most genuine ladies would not, especially before you truly get to know each other. Having said that, it's true that many of them do have to use internet cafes to access email, as most people in FSU still do not have internet access at home. The cost is not huge, but compared to incomes, it can be relatively expensive. Still, to always protect yourself, remember "Rule 1" (don't send money).

In the second scenario, if she states her intention to come to you in order to meet, even if there is no mention of money (yet), start running (away)! She can NOT visit you. That's all there is to it. When you're serious about your Russian girlfriend, you'll have to go and meet her, in her country. You can bet your bottom dollar that even though she does not indicate any need for money, things will "happen", just before she is due to depart (and just as you're getting excited), and she will require you to send the dollars! And then some!

In the third scenario, it's a bad sign because it sounds like she could be sending you "form letters", the same ones that every other guy she's scamming is also receiving! If the girl is genuine, she wants to know about YOU, just like you want to know about her. She especially wants to know basic things to determine that you are a "good" man, and want to have family life and children. If the letters are all flattery, romance, and infatuation, but not really practical exchanges to get to know one-another, get ready to be disappointed!

Red Flags!

You need to be cautious when....

• She contacts YOU first via a large, free for all, dating site
• She has great photos but little information in her on-line profile
• She writes of "structure" in her profile or initial contact
• She sends you nude or very suggestive photos
• She specifically mentions anything about being a virgin
• Photos she sends have file names that contradict her story/name
• Her profile location contradicts where she says she is located
• Her childhood friend married a man from Germany or France (not an English speaking country)
• Her English is very good - all sentences make sense (Russian-English translation usually results in "jumbled" English at best)
• She writes poetry - in English (again, translation would ruin it)
• She starts writing very affectionately within a short time
• She declares her love or strong desire for you within a few months
• She asks for money at any time, for any reason, before you have met
• She writes of financial difficulty or crisis (an implied or actual money request is just around the corner!)
• She questions you on your income, wealth, assets, in any way
• She says she has no home phone but can call you from another phone
• She says she can get herself a Visa to come and see you. (NOT possible)
• She says she has family or friend in Visa office, airport, or travel agency
• She changes/contradicts details about her family and life
• She makes a mistake with your (or even her) name
• She knows exactly how Western Union (etc) money transfers work

Many of these appear obvious, but they can often appear quite innocent when combined with a good story.

The issue of photos can be tricky. A photo added to each letter can be a bad sign - part of a "form letter" system. Only ever receiving one or two photos can also be a bad sign as they may have just been lifted from the web somewhere. Ask for more photos, and if she does not have them on computer (which could be most likely), ask her to send by real mail.

As stated above, check the file names of images wherever possible - look for different girls names, methodical numbering system, or file names that sound like statements (to fit the form letters, and different scenarios).

A genuine Russian husband seeker is not going to send you nude or very suggestive photos of herself. Nor is she going to mention her virginity. She is also very unlikely to show her deepest feelings toward you for quite some time, as they tend to be guarded about such things, especially before you have met in person.

Any genuine girl also knows she can NOT get a Visa to visit you in a Western country, whether it be a "tourist", "student" or "fiance" Visa, whenever she likes. YOU have to assist her to get the Visa, and remember Visas can ONLY be obtained through your country's embassy/consulate, not through any "agency".

If someone does not have their own phone, then chances are they can also not afford to make overseas phone calls to you! Yes, it IS possible she does not have a home phone, let-alone a cell/mobile phone, but she should still be able and willing to give you another number, usually of a family member close-by, who does have a phone. She should also be very willing to give you her home address, so you could send her (real/postal) mail.

Remember that some of the above scenarios could come up and she may still be a 100% genuine girl, so be careful not to dismiss someone instantly just because you see a "red flag". If anything looks suspicious - test her out on something, it's not hard. If more red flags appear, then it's time to make a decision and move on.

What if you're still not quite sure?
What can you do make sure your Russian beauty is real and everything adds up?

I will continue with that very theme in Part 3...


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Options for Finding Your Russian Bride

Probably the hardest part of searching for a partner for life is the worry about finding "the one" - i.e. the RIGHT one, for you.

If you've made the decision to search for a Russian bride, or you are trying to see whether it is an option you wish to pursue or not, you want to make sure you're giving yourself the best chance of success.

"Success" can mean either you fulfil your dream / achieve your goal of marriage, or, at least initially, being able to make informed decisions about where or how you proceed from here, or deciding not to proceed (being satisfied that it's not for you).

Many websites will advocate a "best way" to find your future Russian wife, but of course that's because they are selling that "best way" of doing things. They will warn that other methods of coming into contact with Russian women are fraught with danger!

So what are the options?

• General on-line dating sites - either local or international
• Introduction/Marriage Agencies on-line - again, local or international
• Visiting Russia or FSU countries as a tourist
• Visiting Russia or FSU countries on a "Romance Tour"
• Visiting Russia or FSU countries on a language or other educational/cultural tour
• Visiting Russia or FSU countries as a guest of "Marriage Agencies" (there)
• Print classifieds/personals in Russia/FSU newspapers and magazines
• Social networking - personal referral and on-line networking

What I want to do right now is give a quick introduction to the "long-distance" methods, then the "visiting Russia/FSU" methods, and then the "Social networking" methods in subsequent posts.

General on-line dating sites

If you use one of your local on-line "dating" sites, you will often see foreign women with profiles on them for you to see, and you may be approached by foreign women who see your profile.

There are two trains of thought on this.

Firstly, some will say this is a bad way to go because it only gives you a limited selection of women you are targetting, and the chances of you being targetted by scammers is high.

Alternatively, you could argue that the women who have made the extra effort to get involved with specific overseas websites are probably more serious about what they are doing, plus are giving a very clear message about who they are looking for (someone from YOUR specific country). And should you be directly contacted by one of those women, you've already covered two important fundamentals - she's interested in someone from YOUR country, AND, she's interested in YOU. And as long as you be wary of any possible scammer, then you could be off to a good start (so long as you find her of interest too).

I've seen people warn that if you ever get approached by a Russian woman on a general dating site, she's almost guaranteed to be a fake (a scammer). That is simply not true. Those comments are written by owners of Introduction Agencies! Yes, you should be wary, but not dismissive of the possibilities these types of contacts can provide.

International (general) dating sites are also a possibility and the same rules apply, so long as your potential contacts know which country you are from. Maybe the only real difference is perhaps the reduced "peace of mind" because the site is not local, operating under your local laws, and cultural framework.

Introduction/Marriage Agencies on-line

You will have already seen from all the advertising on-line, there are many introduction agencies out there.

In Russia these agencies are called "Marriage" agencies. If you think that sounds a lot more specific that "dating", you're right! The idea is for the women to find husbands, not acquaintances! It's taken very seriously, unlike Western "dating" websites where most people post their profiles on a "let's see what happens" basis. Marriage agencies are filled with potential brides, not just "dates".

The big operators in this field are not only located in Russia. Many of the large and successful agencies are now based in the West, particularly in the U.S., Australia, and the U.K.

These agencies in the West are most often operated by "Russian brides" themselves (and/or their husbands), who have therefore been through it all personally.

Like dating websites, there's good ones and bad ones. Like anything, you should choose by reputation, services & options, and what/who you feel comfortable with.

You may feel more comfortable with a reputable agency based in the West, particularly if it is in your own country, but then there are also some excellent operators in Russia and the other FSU countries. There are also many who shouldn't be allowed to operate!

Look carefully at what they offer, and how they charge for their services. They may show 1000's of pretty faces on their website, but that doesn't mean they are particularly good.

As with dating sites, you need to make sure you are getting to know real women. Reputable agencies carefully screen their ladies and will expel (and blacklist) anyone who abuses the system. On the other hand, non-reputable agencies will not be so thorough, or worse still, could be the ones doing the scamming!

As far as I'm concerned, "scams" in this area not only includes "fake" women (non genuine women or men pretending to be women!), but also agencies "milking" men for continual fees for "correspondence", translation services (etc), before allowing direct contact between you and your new girlfriend. Again, it makes it hard to even know if you're contacting a genuine woman let-alone being able to develop a relationship with her. Men can be "strung-along" for a while by someone who does not actually exist, all the while paying for the privilege, only to be eventually dumped and then switched to another "contact".

Reputable agencies do charge fees. Remember there's "no free lunch". But as I said, the key is HOW they make their money. What you want is to get in contact with potential partners, not just the hope of one. You want direct contact with the ladies, not just contact through a "middle man". So find out exactly what the system is, and the fees involved.

Some agencies will essentially operate the same as a "dating" site, and some will offer more personal and sophisticated matching services. You will, of course, pay accordingly. There's nothing wrong with paying good money for a good service, so long as it is exactly that.

Another consideration is do they have direct contact with their ladies. That is, physical meetings with the ladies on their "books". If they are based in Russia / FSU, it will most often be the case, and that can be a good thing. The large foreign agencies should also have local offices in Russia and other FSU countries, and/or affiliations with local Marriage agencies. If they don't, then they are nothing more than a website with profiles.

Here's a tip - you should be able (and warmly welcomed) to visit the office (in Russia/FSU) of ANY agency you deal with, whether they are based in Australia or Siberia. A reputable agency will not only welcome your visit, but they will encourage it, AND physically introduce you to many of their ladies! (more on this in the "visiting options" segment).

Classifieds / Personals in Russia/FSU

Despite the internet, this is NOT a thing of the past. In fact, it is HUGE.

Remember that not everyone in Russia or the FSU countries has easy access to the internet, and they may choose not to use an agency (especially if they've had a bad experience with one). Some newspapers have whole sections devoted to finding a foreign husband.

Women can advertise themselves (to locals and foreigners), and men can not only peruse the ads, but also advertise themselves to the women. Often the method of contact can be the good old postal system (yes - real mail!! remember that?).

This presents an interesting option. If a foreign man advertises himself, he can then have women contact HIM, and then choose from the women. The cost of an ad is minimal, and the women that make the effort to contact you can be seen as serious prospects as it is expensive for them to send mail and photographs overseas (plus the hassle of translations to English or your other first language which they will most likely do so you can read their letter).

Using this method may seem more "real" than the internet, but it also means much slower (initial) searching and contact, as mail can be slow to and from Russia and FSU countries, not to mention the mail that never makes it all! (luckily that's not too common, but it is something you should be aware of).

In the future, I will go into more detail on all these methods.

Stay tuned for the next segment, which involves going there to meet ladies rather than trying to do it from home (and you still have to meet her eventually anyway!).


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Russian Women and Stupid Men - Part 1

So far on this site I have not gone into too much detail on "scams" & fraud - yet. As much as I would like to focus on the positives of Russian - Western relations, I feel I have a huge duty to also protect people, not only from others who may not have the best intentions, but also to save some people from themselves. Let me explain.

It's all too easy for anyone to partake in on-line dating and introduction. Most are genuine people looking for genuine relationships, many are curious and exploring options/possiblilities (at least for now anyway), and unfortunately, some people just can't seem to help themselves when they see opportunity to exploit others for personal gain. Of course, without going too much into the subject of "emotional games", or immigration issues, (etc), what I am talking about here is fraud - obtaining money by deception.

How common is it? No-one truly knows the full extent because it is too hard to obtain or analyze the numbers involved. If you are a western guy who has been taken for a ride (read: your money has gone for a ride - one way ticket), you're probably not going to be too keen to tell the world about it, are you?

Having said that, getting scammed is NOT as common as you think,

BUT, it DOES happen,

and, you must be aware of how it can, or is likely to happen,

and, PROTECT YOURSELF.

Let's cover some simple rules:

• Be honest & up-front in your on-line dealings to attract the RIGHT ladies to you
• NEVER send money to any woman you have never met.
• repeat: NEVER.
• Do not reveal a high income to any woman you have never met.
• Do not reveal substantial assets you may own (to any woman you have never met).
• Don't be in a rush, and don't let yourself be rushed.
• Carefully choose service providers you deal with, and know how they make money.
• Do your homework and keep learning all the time.
• Always get a second opinion on anything you're unsure of. (don't be shy - it's easy)

OK, that all sounds easy and "common sense" doesn't it ?
So if a guy can still get scammed, then he must just be stupid, right ?
Wrong!

Firstly, some scamming tricks can be more sophisticated than others.
Secondly, we're talking about the ultimate in emotions here - love, desire, marriage, the future mother of your children, the future & "meaning of life" itself perhaps.
Heavy stuff!
Thirdly.... you're only human!

Read that list of rules again. Carefully.

Also note that not only will those rules protect you financially, but can also help you greatly in finding the right bride for you, save you time, and heartache as well.

Remember, money comes and goes, heartache can be healed, but TIME is lost forever.

More detail on this shortly...


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Russian Women Desire Western Men - Myth or Reality?

A quick search of the web on the subject of "Russian women/brides" (etc) will reveal mostly websites screaming out about how 1000's of women are are waiting meet YOU, and right NOW.

Occasionally, you'll also see an article about "scamming", "immigration scams" and "internet-based fraud" against love-struck men from around the world.

We've certainly covered both extremes! What's the reality for the average guy?

FIRST THINGS FIRST.
Who writes all of those things, and WHY?

The former are written, of course, by Introduction Agencies. (no prizes there!)
The latter are written by "journalists" who thrive on the sensationalism of a "hot story".

Now the WHY part:
Introduction agencies are after your money - of course they make it all look like a dream!
The journalists write the negative, because (as already indicated), "news" media thrives on negative news, not things that are positive and good. (don't believe it? grab a newspaper and tally the "bad" news against the "warm and fuzzy" stories - the exercise won't take long!)

Most introduction agency websites will also offer plenty of "advice" on what to do, how to do it, how to avoid "scams" or "scammers".

To save you the trouble, here's what they ALL say:
What to do: "use our agency, not anyone elses"
How to do it: "register here and give us your credit card details"
Avoid the scams/scammers: "refer to rule 1"

Am I giving introduction agencies a hammering? Yes and no. (OK, mostly yes!)
But, like anything in this world, there are the "good ones and bad ones". I think most of them probably deserve at least a bit of a kick. Some should be banished from the face of the planet. Some should probably be praised for doing a reasonable job.

The point is, they are out to make some serious money out of guys looking for love. Powerful stuff to be messing with - love, relationships, money, family, loneliness, self-worth, etc.

Back to the main point - women from Russia seeking Western men.

There is so much that could be covered here, so let's keep it to some basic points...

Yes, there are many 1000's of women in Russia and the former Soviet Union ("FSU"), who seek marriage to men from the West.

Are the majority of women over there inclined that way?
No! Certainly not.

Think about it - why on earth would a young lady seek to leave her family, friends, home, familiar surroundings, language, culture, job/qualifications, etc, etc, and move to another part of the world just for a Western guy? Are we that great? (hmmm... tough one to answer objectively!)

The reality is: it mostly comes down to "compatibility", plus "supply and demand".

Sorry to sound so clinical, but it's as simple as that.

In Russia and the FSU countries, WOMEN OUTNUMBER MEN.
More accurately - available & marriage-ready women outnumber available/marriage-ready/willing/suitable men.

In fact, the imbalance is quite significant. It doesn't take a genius to then guess what the result of that is. Women must try harder, and men don't need to try much at all! Does that make the Russian men "bad"? No, it makes them human. In general terms, if the same imbalance was replicated in any Western country, the same result would be evident.

Now the "compatibility" bit - it really stems from the above.
If you're a young Russian lady, and you don't manage to find "Mr Right", and very quickly (as Russians generally marry quite young, ie by age 23 is considered normal), you then only have the pick of men who are generally not interested in making much of an effort (clearly, because they haven't been captured!).

Again, I have no intention of speaking ill of Russian men, as that's not the point of this, but you can see where compatibility goes out the window when you've got women who make a lot of effort to be an attractive "catch", and men who simply don't need to.

So, she can "settle" for less than she's after, or further her search abroad. Literally.

There is much more that could be added here and now, but the above is the most important and basic point.

Russian/FSU women are simply seeking the life-partner, whether locally, or internationally.

They are feminine and family-oriented, and simply seek a "decent man" as a partner. That's it guys - it's as simple as that.

The top priorities for the typical Russian female are to get married, have children, and be a fantastic wife and mother. To most Western guys, this is almost unbelievable, and also very refreshing. There's also nothing wrong with thinking that either. You're not a chauvinist, and you're not seeking to "oppress" women in any way, you just like females to be feminine. You find that to be very attractive. As I said, those are the "top" priorities, not the only aspects to their character.

Which brings us back to compatibility. You can see a "win-win" situation emerging. Women and men getting what they want from each other, on the most basic of levels. Women finding available men who are wanting to marry and have a traditional family relationship, making an effort to treat a lady as such, and to provide for his family. Men finding attractive and feminine women, usually younger than themselves, who wish to be a devoted wife and mother as top priorities, and enjoy being treated as a lady.

The Western, so-called "feminists" can throw their hands up in the air in horror, but who do you think is the happier? (couldn't help myself but throw that one in!)

In summary, Russian women looking abroad for husbands seek just that - a husband. Just a decent, "normal" guy to share life's journey with. They are not just trying to escape their local environment or seek a "better life" in a wealthier country. Genuine women are not after your money or possessions. They are generally not particularly materialistic at all. They are after a suitable partner. That's it.

Seeking a Russian wife IS a viable option for Western men, and can be extremely rewarding, for both people. It's also not for everyone, and should be approached with "eyes wide open". Be cautious, even sceptical, but also be open to things that will "blow your mind", and warm your heart.

There's a whole other world (of happiness even), to discover. Get ready.


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