Back from the USSR

Apologies for the lack of new content in recent times, but I return a very relaxed and happy man!

Why?

I just spent the whole month in the depths of the FSU (former Soviet Union).

And am I refreshed?

You bet... 100% !!

It's now Springtime - snow melting off the mountains, trees regaining their leaves, the smell of flowers in the air where-ever you walk...

And the coats and jackets are being cast-aside - people enjoying being outdoors, and paying more attention to what they wear - adjusting the wardrobe for Spring and Summer!

Parks and tree-lined avenues are buzzing with people, often with no agenda at all, just wanting to be outdoors with other people. To be part of life.

And beautiful girls notice the non-local, and I have their undivided attention, even with my wife on my arm.

She just looks straight ahead, always the dignified lady, the most subtle contented smile.

Later she will laugh with her female relatives and old aquaintances about things that happen - why I get so much better service in many shops, whereas most people never even get a smile...

And I think, hang-on, it's only "me"... just an everyday nobody / Mr Average in my own country.

But this is a whole different world...

And I like it!

The Beauty of Women's Day

I've heard some great success stories of guys impressing their ladies on Women's Day just passed.

Unfortunately in this country, it is almost unknown, and is certainly not a public holiday.

Whilst going about business as usual on Thursday (March 8 - Women's Day), I asked different people, both male and female, if they knew anything about it, or were doing anything special.

Let's just say the response was disappointing to say the least.

The women were generally just ignorant of it.

But the reaction of men was much more of a shock.

The general response was something like: "What for? Why do we have to have a day for everything, and why isn't there a day for us?" (etc)

I honestly found that quite surprising, until I thought about it more.

On the surface, the women appear apathetic, and the men seem resentful of the idea (of a day for women). But there must, of course, be reasons for this.

I think one major reason is a perception in the West that International Women's Day is all about the feminist movement, and is therefore a day of male/female politics and conflict, rather than any reason for celebration.

Of course what is interesting is that in Russia (and many other countries) where Women's Day is a huge holiday and celebration, it is no such thing. Feminist movements and politics simply do not factor into it.

Women's day is such an overwhelming success there because it is a day of respect, thanks, appreciation, admiration, love, friendship, and a celebration of femininity - NOT feminism. It's about real women, and men's acknowledgment of these proud females in their life.

By contrast, we in the West place emphasis on other days, for example "Mother's Day" - a nice concept, but it has been totally hijacked by the retail industry who pressure us into buying ever more, "bigger and better" gifts, to "show we care". The beauty, and the whole point, is somewhat lost.

Now contrast that back to Russia (and many other countries), where, along with flowers and chocolate giving, gifts are more often personally made rather than simply bought. It is much more about thoughts and actions, rather than materialism.

If you missed the significance of this beautiful day (not hard when you live in the West), it's not too late to show someone in one of those (perhaps, "more enlightened") countries that you care. Let her know you have found out the significance of the day (which is not celebrated in your own country), and "give congratulations" to her. She will understand and appreciate this. Ask her how she celebrated the day.

And never miss it again...!

Your Russian Girlfriend and Women's Day

The most important day of the year is almost upon us!

March 8 - International Women's Day.

Many people around the world may be unaware of this day, but in Russian culture it is a huge event.

Bigger than Valentines Day or even Christmas Day.

Despite the political origins of Women's Day, for Russian women it holds no political significance, only beauty and celebration.

Not only it is a celebration of women and femininity, but it also celebrates the start of Spring.

And what connects the two?

Flowers, of course!

Women's day is a day where all men should give flowers and gifts to the women in their life. Not just wives or girlfriends, but also family members, even work colleagues.

Men should also not allow their women to do any work of any kind. For Russian women, this is a rare day! No going to work (it's a public holiday anyway), no housework, no cooking. It's all to be done by men.

This is not another Valentines Day, which is more a private celebration for couples. This is a day for ALL women. A day of thanks, appreciation, respect and admiration.

Women's Day is an official public holiday in Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, Bulgaria, Moldova, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Tajikistan and Uzbekistan (along with a few other countries).

It is also well-celebrated in Hungary, Poland and Romania (although it is not a public holiday).

Impress any Russian women in your life with a card, gift, or flowers.

If you are just starting to get-to-know a Russian lady by correspondence, at least send an electronic card. If you know her a little better, organize a flower delivery. It's easy to do. Include a box of chocolates for that little something extra.

For more information on flower-giving to Russian women (VERY important):
Russian Women - Flowers 101

To miss this opportunity is unforgivable!
So get to it!

Russian Women - Flowers 101

Most women have an affection for flowers, but...

Russian women LOVE flowers!

Flowers can send a big message - transcending language barriers, speaking the international languages of love, caring, and careful consideration.

Whether you're only at the correspondence stage, or perhaps at the meeting stage, dating, popping the question, or celebrating a special occasion...

Give the gift of flowers - they will be very well-received!

But make sure you do it right!

There are things you should know...

If you're getting to know your girl by long-distance correspondence and things are progressing well, organize a surprise flower delivery. She'll be most impressed.
Tip: don't do it in the very first week - it could back-fire on you (could be seen as "buying" her interest).

When you meet your girl for the first time (in person, after your long-distance relations have been successful - i.e. you have a relationship of sorts), give her a red rose as soon as you meet (doesn't have to be the very first minute you see her in the airport terminal, but perhaps in the taxi).
Tip: BRING the red rose from home. Yes, you read correctly - from YOUR home. Not the flower shop at the airport where you land, but from your own country. Don't worry if it looks half-dead by the time you hand it to her - you just brought it half way around the world! That's the point - not just a flower, but an extra special gift. I bet she presses it into a book and never discards it. (Also, even if it looks "travel weary", it will still have the fragrance).

If you're after a way to meet girls unannounced (when in Russia/FSU) - try giving a flower to a girl out of the blue. Simply say: "A pretty flower for a pretty girl" and see her reaction. Not only will she be astounded by the gesture, she'll notice you are a foreigner, which will also intrigue her. If nothing else, she'll take it as a compliment, and it will be an enjoyable moment for both of you.
Tips: before pulling such a move, check her right hand ring finger for a wedding ring (yes - right hand, which is the local custom). Refer to her as a "girl", not a woman. Have a card you can give her with your name, email, and local contact details on it. Ask her for her details. Don't worry if her English isn't too good.

When spending time with your girl - take any opportunity to give her a flower, or eleven! Often you will see flower stalls near shops or markets. She will be visibly proud as she walks down the street on the arm of her man, clutching flowers in the other hand, which that wonderful man has just bought her!
Tip: don't ask her if she'd like some flowers, INSIST upon stopping to have a look at the flowers, then tell her to nominate her favorites, and buy them! You could spot a flower seller and say "We NEED some flowers!", and lead her there! She'll love it!

Make sure you give her flowers for her birthday,

Valentines Day, and Women's Day.

Roses are the most adored and prized flowers to Russian women. As in the West, red roses are the symbol of love. White roses are a classy alternative if you think red might be a bit strong, or just for something different.

Long-stem roses are preferred, and (in Russia), being rare, represent the rarity and delightful innocence of love.

Tulips, carnations, and other well-known flowers are also popular. Lilies can be given, with their stunning appearance and unique fragrance, but remember that white lilies are often seen as "sympathy"/funeral flowers.

When sending flowers for the first time, if you think roses might be a bit strong (as a message), send a bouquet of mixed seasonal flowers chosen by the florist. You could also include a small box of chocolates with it - you know, just to be practical!

Send a bright, multicolor arrangement if she is unwell or in need of a cheer-up. Send white lilies or carnations as a sympathy arrangement.

ESSENTIAL flower-giving tips:

ODD numbers only - give flowers in odd numbers (i.e. 5, 7, 9, 11, etc).
In Russian / Slavic tradition, an even number of flowers is a bad omen - you bring an even number of flowers to a funeral (for example 2 or 4 flowers). If giving a large bouquet, the number count is not so critical, but if it contains roses, make sure there's an odd number of roses at least. Any odd number is good - the more the better. Give 11 instead of a dozen.

Yellow flowers (predominantly, or on their own) are not to be given to a loved one - they symbolize unfaithfulness. But if her favorite color is yellow, there may be some rule-bending there!

Don't forget her mother! Earn some serious "gentleman points" by giving a bouquet or a single rose to your girl's mother on the important holidays and special occasions. You'll be seen as having some serious class and style!

Most flower delivery services offer to take a photo of your girl receiving the flowers. Think about that for a second. Not only is it a great "real", and recent photo of your girl, and not only does it confirm the delivering of the service you've paid for, but it also confirms her very existence as well.

If, up until now, you've only be corresponding remotely, a flower and/or gift delivery service can confirm she is in-fact real, visiting her at her home address and photographing her. Whether you had any doubts or not, it's nice to have that snap-shot of reality, and see her with a smile as she holds the flowers you just gave her.

Flower delivery services are available in almost every city in Russia and the FSU countries. Do a good search as prices can vary quite considerably. Also note there can be significant seasonal variances in availability and price of different flowers too.

Now go court her like a gentleman !


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A Day For Russian Men

23rd of February is the "Defender of Fatherland" day, which is an unofficial holiday for all Russian men (in Russia).

In Russia, all men must serve in the military, (it's compulsory). They are therefore part of the "National Defending Force" - present or future soldiers.

The day is only officially a holiday in Russia (formerly all U.S.S.R.), but it may still be of importance to Russian people in the now "FSU" countries, particularly if they are ethnic Russian. It is common for women to give small gifts to men they know, not just partners or family, but can also be the men at their place of work, or university.

As a point of "conversation", you can ask your Russian girlfriend about 23 February - "The Defender Day", and how/if she celebrated it - she will be impressed with your knowledge of the Russian calendar and such a historical date.

Do Russian Women Prefer Men With Degrees?

If you look at profiles of Russian women, they are most often holders of university degrees and will usually state they seek men who are also of higher education (i.e. college / university degree).

What if you don't have one? Does that harm your chances? Does it seriously narrow the field?

I would answer: No - there are much more important considerations.

Russian women considering husbands from abroad are more interested in basic human qualities more than higher education.

They want to know if you truly desire marriage and children.
They want to know if you are ready to love and be loved.
They want to know if you are a "good person", kind, honest, faithful and generous to those you are close to.
They place great importance on your attitude to alcohol - no heavy drinking.

If you can satisfy the above, (not too much to ask for!), then you are well on your way to success.

Other factors such as how rich, educated or good-looking you are, are of little importance to a genuine Russian bride-to-be.

Basic human qualities rate far above possessions or achievements.

Now, isn't that the way it should be?

Russian Brides - What's The Catch?

Some things in life seem too good to be true.

If you're using the internet to search for a partner, a healthy dose of scepticism is not a bad thing. It can even be critical when sorting the genuine from the non-genuine, the suitable from the non-suitable.

When you see profiles of women who seem to be "just too good to be true", then the next thought is usually, "OK, if they're genuine - what's the catch?"

To many men from Western nations, it is highly refreshing to see not only physical attractiveness exhibited by the "average" Russian lady, but also real feminine beauty in their thoughts, desires, interests, and expectations of relationships and family.

What's the catch?

There will, of course, be some cultural differences, usually some language difficulties to overcome, adjustment to a new life. But, not only are these easy to overcome, they can also be an enriching and positive aspect to your relationship. (I think this is so important and so overlooked by most people that it will be written-up as a seperate article in the future.)

Really, the only thing men should keep in mind that may possibly seen as a "catch" is:

Russian women want CHILDREN.

If you see a Russian lady as the ideal partner, but you do not want children, you are looking in the wrong place for your future wife.

Of course, having children is the ultimate achievement for all of us - male or female, but whereas many women in the West may increasingly see it as a "choice", to Russian women, it is an essential part of womanhood. It is an absolute given that a Russian woman should marry and have children. It is a cornerstone piece of their cultural make-up and upbringing.

Any man who wants to have children should take this as a "godsend", because not only does she want to have children, she will take it as a joy and a pleasure to nurture your children in the most loving and caring way - like you have never seen before.

To see a Russian woman with her baby is nothing short of beautiful. To see how she sees it as a blessing and a privilege to cater to that child's needs and healthy upbringing, (and not a chore, or a burden, or a "difficult responsibility") - is breath-taking!

OK, so what if she already HAS children?

That now becomes an individual question. If she has more than one child already, she will most likely be content to not have any more. Even if she has only one child, she may also be content to not have any more, as it is not unusual for Russians to have only one or two children.

What if YOU already have children?

She may be fully accepting of your existing children, but she will still want to have at least one child herself. Life would not otherwise be complete for her as a woman.

Is it better to have a child together regardless of how many existing children either of you have? In my opinion, yes, but of course it will depend upon both of your individual wants and desires. Your ages may also have a bearing on your decision. If you're both over 35, and already have children, then you are probably both past the "having children" stage, and are content to seek stable family life with your existing brood. Your (and her) choice.

So is there no other scenario?

There always exceptions to the "rules", but the vast majority of Russian women fall into this category. Children are an essential part of life. It is natural for them, and they will tell you just that! A dream to be fulfilled.

To any real man, this should not be daunting in any way, it should be a huge relief!

Not only can you find the ideal WIFE, but ideal MOTHER to your children. You've hit the jackpot! The best of both worlds - in more ways than one.

If that doesn't inspire you to pursue this particular road to happiness and fulfillment, then I seriously don't know what will.

You can give shallow women the flick. Real women are out there.


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